Ever wonder if the person who coined the term "Hump day" was the annoyingly upbeat person in the office who cheerfully brought the news that half of your expense report had been denied before asking who wanted to meet at Ruby Tuesdays for Happy Hour? You don't even really have to wonder, do you?
Downtown Tampa traffic, generally regarded as purgatorial at best, will be downgraded to hellish starting at the end of the month as Jeff Vinik's rejuvenating development project begins. You know what they say: you can't make an omelet without further damaging the already strained quality of life of thousands.
The FSU student who stabbed a couple to death in a frenzy before biting pieces off the male victim's face late Monday night is reportedly in critical and worsening condition. Drug screens are pending, but the use of a designer hallucinogen like flakka is widely suspected; I may be old-fashioned, but my friends and I generally avoided a class of recreational drug after the first or second incident of cannibalism. Just seemed safer, y'know?
A plan for Google to bring super-high-speed gigabit internet service to Tampa has been put on hold. They say it's because some logistical and permitting issues are being looked at, but you know it's probably because Facebook and Yahoo were making a bunch of Tampa jokes at Google's expense. Peer pressure: it's even worse among multibillion-dollar tech firms, we hear.
And finally, a concerned animal lover has put up a $5,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of whoever is abandoning live cats (and possibly dead ones) along the Howard Frankland Bridge. Just don't kill yourselves trying to shoot photos of license plates or force somebody to the shoulder, for god's sake, OK?
This article appears in Aug 11-18, 2016.