Are we ready? We ready.
The Pasco County Sheriff's Office conducted an "Enforcement Action Plan" yesterday — which, according to Bay News 9, included "targeting prolific offenders, code enforcement violators, and those with outstanding warrants." Now I don't mean to sound like a dick here, but I could easily imagine some people wondering why such an effort couldn't have been called, oh, "The Being A Cop On Wednesday Plan." Welcome to a world in which even a service evolved basically just to keep society from falling into chaos needs a marketing hook.
Speaking of law-enforcement optics, Hernando County authorities were on the lookout for an inmate who left his work detail at the landfill "without authorization." See, this is smart damage control — "nothing to see here, maybe the dude just forgot to sign out, we're looking into it." If he's wearing his black-and-white-striped pajamas (and he reportedly was), that's a jailbreak.
A 9-foot alligator killed a 75-pound dog along Joe's Creek in St. Petersburg. What kind of dog was it? Mostly Chow.
And finally, a resource officer at a Lee County middle school arrested a woman after he saw her snorting coke off her iPhone while waiting in the car pick-up line. A pick-up line in the pick-up line? How very meta.
This article appears in Aug 17-24, 2017.