We're with you, New York.
FRIDAY, SEPT. 16:
A St. Pete sewage plant worker publicly sought whistleblower protection amid claims that the city's administration knew that shutting down its Albert Whitted treatment facility could cause a situation in which dumps into the bay were unavoidable. Shitty.
News finally broke that a giant sinkhole had opened up at a Mulberry phosphate plant back in August, sending radioactive water into Florida's aquifer system. Giant sinkhole. Radioactive water into the aquifer. BACK IN AUGUST. Sooner or later, capitalism always leads to the CHUDs.
That guy who shot at George Zimmerman back in a May road rage incident was found guilty of attempted murder. Apparently God's real name is Irony.
SATURDAY, SEPT. 17:
A naked man broke into an Ocala home, bit one of the women there, and then died while being restrained. Sometimes the standard phrase "police suspect alcohol or drugs may have played a part" just doesn't cut it, does it?
Here is a story about a Manatee County man who was stabbed in the eye by a catfish spine during a freak fishing accident. Don't. read it, OK? Just don't.
SUNDAY, SEPT. 18:
Let's briefly return to weird shit happening in Manatee County, where a Bradenton woman was arrested after sending a hoax bomb threat to her next-door neighbor — meaning if there really had been a bomb, she might've easily been within its blast range. Also, you just gotta wonder whether or not she was watching the news about Saturday's blast in NYC and just went, "yep, that's the perfect way to handle this beef."
And finally, the Emmys happened. Game of Thrones now has a record 38 statues, beating the previous record held by… Frasier?
This article appears in Sep 15-22, 2016.