Didja stay up to watch the fight?
Tampa Bay 13th Congressional District candidates David Jolly and Charlie Crist went at it in a debate televised by WTSP. What, no good ol' boxing-style "The Jolly Red Gentleman takes on The Man With The Tan" ramp-up advertising? The talky picture box used to be somethin' special, I tells ya, before them damned info tubes made yer phone a movie jukebox.
Disgraced phosphate mining concern Mosaic began testing wells near the disastrous sinkhole at its Mulberry facility for contaminated water. That's a nice gesture, but some citizens might prefer working directly with a third party for assurance. And by "third party," we mean "LITERALLY ANY OTHER ENTITY." Hey IRS, come test my well water.
A Lakeland high school softball coach was charged with check forgery. She admitted she changed the "pay to" line on checks given to her by businesses for team sponsorships and deposited them into her personal account, but claims "she did not steal money and that she didn’t know it was wrong to alter checks." This installment of Would You Rather Be Seen As A Criminal Or A Fucking Idiot has been bought to you by White-Out.
And finally, sticking with Lakeland, there's a pizza vending machine being test marketed out there. At a Mobil station. Because apparently walking inside the gas station and selecting a pizza from under a heat lamp is too inconvenient and classy.
This article appears in Sep 15-22, 2016.
