Ah, summer. That special time when Hollywood eases us back in our cushy seats, lets the multiplex air conditioning massage our frazzled nerves, and allows us to bask in the spectacle of worlds being destroyed and created over and over again.
There's no shortage of catastrophe in store this summer, with disaster flicks aplenty (sinking ships and burning buildings are favorites this year), but there are also plenty of superheroes on hand to maintain order. And things rarely get too intense for too long, since for every creepy supernatural thriller there are scads of romantic comedies as well as animated movies featuring a seemingly endless supply of adorable talking animals.
There are bound to be some surprises in this year's batch of summer movies, but we're unlikely to know what they are until they're breathing down our necks. From this vantage point, the summer of 2006 looks like a fairly solid but conspicuously conservative season, filled with the usual suspects of action blockbusters and star vehicles, mostly of the sequel, prequel and remake variety. Many of what are likely to be the true gems of the season aren't even listed in the preview guide that follows, since they're smaller films that could show up in local theaters at any point during the summer (or not at all).
That said, be on the alert for the appearance of any of the following under-the-radar releases, all of which I've managed to preview and can heartily recommend: the unusually smart and classy British horror flick The Descent; Nick Cave's oddly lyrical but unabashedly violent oat opera The Proposition; the South Korean mind-melter Lady Vengeance; the fascinating documentaries Word Play and Leonard Cohen I'm Your Man; Larry Clark's button-pushing Wassup Rockers; and Claude Chabrol's elegantly insidious thriller The Bridesmaid.
Add a few I haven't yet seen to the mix — Richard Linklater's eagerly anticipated A Scanner Darkly; Michael Gondry's The Science of Sleep; and the Sundance fave Little Miss Sunshine — and we might just have a summer to remember on our hands.
MAY 12
Poseidon
With a $175-million budget and A-list director Wolfgang Peterson (Das Boot, The Perfect Storm) at the helm, don't expect a pungent cheesefest to rival the 1972 Shelley Winters disaster flick upon which this movie is very loosely based. Everything about this Titanic-sized project ensures that the only thing likely to go down with the ship is the audience's hard-earned cash at the box office.
Goal! The Dream Begins
Disney's de rigueur inspirational sports drama tells the story of a young Mexican-American athlete who travels to England to play soccer for the Brits. Too much squawking about illegal immigrants on this side of the pond, maybe?
MAY 19
The Da Vinci Code
Here's a no-brainer recipe for box office gold: Take one of the most widely read books in the world, add one of our most popular actors and one of our most consistently crowd-pleasing directors, sprinkle liberally with controversy, bake and serve. Tom Hanks and Ron Howard team up for the hugely hyped big screen adaptation of Dan Brown's bestselling page-turner about ancient conspiracies and theological dirty business.
Over the Hedge
Neurotic squirrels, raccoons and possums are among the menagerie of beasties gorging on suburban garbage in this latest CG animation from DreamWorks. Garry Shandling, Steve Carell, Bruce Willis and Nick Nolte lend their voices to the fray.
See No Evil
What would summer be without at least one horror flick featuring attractive but terminally stupid teenagers having sex and then being slashed to bits? This one's for you, gore-hounds, and bon appetit.
MAY 26
X-Men 3: The Last Stand
The studio suits insist that this is the final X-Men movie, but we'll believe that when we see it. The real story here is the new director at the helm, Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) — a not particularly inspired choice to replace Brian Singer, who turned this into one of the best superhero franchises on the block. Other changes include a few new mutant faces in the X-crew, including Frasier's Kelsey Grammer under a mountain of blue fur. Curiouser and curiouser.
JUNE 2
The Break-Up
This one's a must for pop culture fetishists, if only because its romantic leads, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, reportedly turned into a real-life couple while on the set. The Break-Up also features a premise with promise — modern world economics necessitate Aniston and Vaughn living together in their jointly owned condo even after their relationship implodes. Rumors of some partial nudity from Aniston probably won't hurt ticket sales either.
JUNE 6
The Omen
The Da Vinci Code will be getting most of the attention this summer, but this might be a better bet for those who prefer their theological thrillers straight up (with a dash of demon seed). Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles star in a remake of the 1976 creepy-kid classic about a couple whose adopted child is actually the offspring of the Antichrist. In any event, you just gotta love the 6/6/06 opening date.
JUNE 9
Cars
After raising animation to new heights by anthropomorphizing children's playthings (Toy Story), insects (A Bug's Life), malformed creatures (Monsters Inc.) and fish (Finding Nemo), where do you go next? For the CGI geniuses at Pixar, the answer was easy — automobiles with personality to burn — and the early buzz on Cars is that these guys may have another monster hit on their hands.
A Prairie Home Companion
Robert Altman received the kiss of death at the Oscars this year — a Lifetime Achievement Award, the likes of which traditionally spells out its recipient's imminent demise (Fellini and Satyajit Ray were dead within months of receiving theirs). But beyond the ghoulish desire to see what might be the 81-year-old director's final film, there are a lot of reasons to check out A Prairie Home Companion. The ensemble cast mixes indie cred, mainstream clout and pop star-power (Tommy Lee Jones, John C. Reilly and Lindsay Lohan are participants, to name a few). The free-flowing structure sounds like Altman at his improvisational best.
JUNE 16
The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift
First Vin Diesel bailed, then Paul Walker, and now all that appears to be left in the third installment of this increasingly rudderless franchise is a whole lot of sound and fury. The action shifts to Japan this time, where a bunch of young actors with names like Bow Wow and Sung Kang race around in very loud and fuel-inefficient cars.
Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties
One of the most painful kiddie projects of recent years gets another chance to strut its stuff. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Breckin Meyer are both along for the ride again, with Bill Murray, a talented guy who surely must have better ways to spend his time, once more supplying a voice for the titular feline.
The Lake House
A mystically romantic story about two people trying to forge a love connection even though they inhabit two different temporal dimensions. Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves, last seen teamed-up on an out-of-control bus in Speed, are up to something with considerably softer edges here (and possibly a softer center, too).
Nacho Libre
The director is the guy who made Napoleon Dynamite, Jack Black is as over-the-top as he wants to be, and it all takes place somewhere long overdue for some serious Hollywood attention — the insanely wacky world of masked Mexican wrestlers. So what are you waiting for? On the down side, Black doesn't exactly work out much, and those spandex tights he's parading around in are awfully snug.
JUNE 23
Click
Another cosmic comedy from the creators of Bruce Almighty, that movie where Jim Carey acquired divine power. Some similar magic is worked here with Adam Sandler, who gets his hands on a remote control that can manipulate the fabric of reality. Why wade through those arguments with your significant other, goes the movie's big joke, when you can fast forward straight to the make-up sex? Kate Beckinsale and Christopher Walken co-star.
JUNE 30
Superman Returns
This is obviously going to be one of this summer's big guns at the box office, but it also may turn out to be a genuinely good movie. A labor of love from pop culture auteur Brian Singer (X-Men, The Usual Suspects), who's picking up where the classic Superman II left off — and, thankfully, pretending like Superman III and IV never happened.
The Devil Wears Prada
Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway get down and dirty (or at least as down and dirty as it's possible to get while impeccably coiffed and coutured) in a fashion world spoof based on Lauren Weisberger's juicy bestseller. Mee-oww.
JULY 5
Little Man
Keenan Ivory Wayans, last seen passing himself off as an obese Caucasian female in White Chicks, morphs into a misguided midget trying to pass himself off as an infant. It's allegedly a comedy, in case you were wondering.
JULY 7
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Who would have imagined that a movie based on an amusement park ride would turn out not to completely suck? The original Pirates of the Caribbean was a surprise smash when it appeared three years ago, and it's now become a mini-franchise, with two back-to-back sequels having been produced simultaneously. Johnny Depp buffs up his saber and reprises his Keith Richards shtick for this latest installment, with Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley on board again as well.
JULY 14
Pathfinder
Horror fans know Marcus Nispel as the filmmaker who recently gave us a distinctly amped-up take on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. From the sound of it, Nispel might be applying some similarly aggressive revisionism to this reportedly intense historical epic about bloodthirsty Vikings confronting Native Americans in the 10th Century.
You, Me and Dupree
Newlyweds Kate Hudson and Matt Dillon find domestic bliss threatened by a houseguest who just won't leave (Owen Wilson). The story's ensuing romantic complications sound a bit predictable, but three of our best comedic actors are teaming up here, so how bad could it be?
JULY 21
Lady in the Water
A change of pace from big-time horror auteur M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense), who insists that what he's come up with here is a simple "bedtime story," and one largely designed for children, at that. Don't expect the director to completely change his ways, though.
Monster House
A slightly spookier summer bid for the kid demographic, Monster House makes extensive use of those weirdly realistic animation techniques pioneered in The Polar Express and features young children facing off with a malevolent house that comes to life. Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jon Heder and Jason Lee serve as the prototypes for the characters.
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
We've got more than a few romantic comedies swinging our way this summer, but this one sounds more like an anti-romantic comedy. In what might be one of the season's most inspired casting decisions, big-boned Uma Thurman stars as a super-powered female getting even with the guy who dumped her (Luke Wilson).
JULY 28
Miami Vice
About the only thing this movie supposedly has in common with the popular '80s TV show is the name and director Michael Mann. Forget that decade and those dopey blazers with the rolled-up sleeves — this big screen, R-rated Miami Vice takes place in a gritty, decidedly contemporary Miami with nary a pastel color or stubbly Don Johnston in sight. Bolstering the movie's box office potential are Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx in the lead roles.
John Tucker Must Die
Another anti-romantic comedy. This one's about three high school girls taking revenge on the guy who cheated on all of them.
Barnyard
Can't get enough of those computer-generated, animated movies about cute, talking animals? Here's another — although the writer-director here is Steve Oedekerk (Ace Ventura), which might indicate something just a tad subversive is going on if you squint hard enough.
I Could Never Be Your Woman
TV sitcom producer Michelle Pfeiffer falls for younger man Paul Rudd in this first project in way too long from writer-director Amy Heckerling (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Clueless). It's a "relationship movie," of course but, given Heckerling's track record, odds are we'll also get some tasty skewering of pop culture, specifically the world of TV sitcoms.
AUGUST 4
The Ant Bully
Yet another animated romp for kids, this one featuring a young, bug-sized human's adventure in a society of ants. Make that talking ants. Cute, talking ants. Nicolas Cage, Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep supply the voices.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Will Ferrell re-teams with his Anchorman partner, writer-director Adam McKay, for an over-the-top summer comedy about the trials and tribulations of a very strange NASCAR champion. If the movie is half as funny as the handful of clips we've seen so far, we're in for a treat. Sacha Baron Cohen (Da Ali G Show) co-stars.
AUGUST 9
World Trade Center
If moviegoers had a problem with Paul Greengrass' relatively restrained and remarkably respectful United 93, just imagine what'll be hitting the fans when Oliver Stone's World Trade Center finally makes its way into theaters. The King of Bombast does 9/11 his way, and the world may never be the same again.
AUGUST 11
The Reaping
Things are going bump in the night all over the place when Hilary Swank discovers that the supernatural phenomenon she's attempting to debunk may not be so easily debunkable.
Zoom
Sky High meets X-Men in this satire about a school for super-powered kids who will, naturally, wind up having to save the world before the movie's over. Tim Allen plays the children's super-powered teacher, with Chevy Chase and Courteney Cox co-starring.
AUGUST 18
Snakes on a Plane
The title tells it all (mobsters sneak hundreds of deadly snakes aboard a plane to keep a witness from testifying), but Snakes on a Plane is a genuine phenomenon that's been snowballing for months. Largely thanks to an Internet feeding frenzy, Snakes on a Plane arrives with plenty of hype to live up to — but, luckily for the film, it's the sort of hype that's not particularly demanding. An awful lot of folks are giddy at the mere prospect of heaping helpings of gore, a little bit of sex and, of course, wall-to-wall snakes.
Clerks II
In what must be the summer's most unlikely sequel, Kevin Smith revisits the characters from his 1994 no-budget debut Clerks. Ten years on, Smith's slacker heroes are older but not particularly wiser, and this time we find them wasting their lives working (barely) at a fast-food joint.
AUGUST 25
DOA: Dead or Alive
Summer winds down with a based-on-a-videogame movie, featuring Jamie Pressly engaging in some major martial arts action. Pressly's pretty great when she gets to play things tongue in cheek, but it's unlikely we'll see much of that going on here.
Idlewild
Outkast's big screen project has been delayed so many times that it's hard to believe the movie now has a set-in-stone release date that the studio is swearing by. Idlewild features Outkast's Andre 3000 and Big Boi as Prohibition-era nightclub musicians dealing with gangsters trying to muscle in on their turf, and early reports are calling the film a lavish wink at old-school Hollywood spectacles. Sounds like this could be pretty tasty stuff, at least for viewers who like their movies and their music large, loopy and full of peculiar hooks. Then again, I'm one of those suckers who couldn't wait to see Under the Cherry Moon.
This article appears in May 10-16, 2006.