The summer months were once a time of reruns and truly awful
sitcoms. Nowadays, new programming doesn’t stop when June rolls
around. I know — I watch far too much television and have been planning for the
summer lull, which doesn’t really seem to be happening. Not too bad, anyway.
The following is a list of summer television highlights on
broadcast and cable. Some of these shows have already started, but will
probably run through the summer if you decide you want to start watching. Plus,
the cable shows will undoubtedly air again, and again, and again.
Modeling Agency
Premiere Date: June 6
Network: Oxygen
Nothing like a little reality drama with the world’s first
supermodel (as Tyra Banks like to call her). In this new Oxygen reality show,
Janice uses her 30 years of experience to open her own modeling agency. (Just to give you an idea: on the website, there's a link titled, "Freak Out of the Week: Watch Janice Freak Out." Oh, yeah.)
My Life on the D-List
Premiere Date: June 6
Network: Bravo
Kathy Griffin is back! I love her. ’Nuff said.
Dog Bites Man
Premiere Date: June 7
Network: Comedy Central
This 10-episode series is described as one-part
improvisation and one-part mockumentary, and has a group of dysfunctional, fake
newscasters interacting with real people in front of the camera and behind the
scenes. Reno 911, media-style.
Saved
Premiere Date: June 12
Network: TNT
Wyatt Cole, a medical-school dropout and compulsive gambler,
becomes a paramedic in
Portland, Oregon. Sounds like a pretty
standard character-driven drama, but it stars Tom Everett Scott (That Thing You Do!, An American Werewolf in Paris), and he’s dreamy.
Hell's Kitchen
Premiere Date: June 12
Network: Fox
Internationally respected asshole chef Gordon Ramsay is
back, and amidst kitchen disasters, and tons of cursing and belittling by
Ramsay, not one but two wannabe chefs were rushed to the hospital. And this was
only the first episode.
Treasure Hunters
Premiere Date: June 18
Network: NBC
NBC has been plugging this show for months and as much as
I’ve tried to ignore the lure, I want to watch. The quest-oriented series features
multiplayer teams that are sent on a global search to solve a puzzle. The first
team to uncover all the clues will be given the location of a hidden treasure.
The rest will be tied up and made to walk the plank. Argh.
America’s Got Talent
Premiere Date: June 21
Network: NBC
American Idol
producers team up with NBC to find the hottest variety and novelty acts from
across the country. Will it be good? No, not even a little. Will it be
entertaining in a so-horrible-I-can’t-look-away sort of way? Most definitely.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Premiere Date: June 29
Network: FX
This is the second season for this show about four friends
who run a bar in the City of Brotherly Love. I wouldn’t be interested, ’cept that Danny
Devito guest stars.
Big Brother 7
Premiere Date: July 6
Network: CBS
It’s an all-star edition as 20 former players return. The
twist? No one knows whether they’ve made the show or not until the season
premiere — and the home audience helps to decide who gets back in. The 20 eligible candidates will be unveiled by Julie Chen at 8 p.m. Wednesday, June 21.
Season 3
Premiere Date: July 9
Network: Comedy Central
Not really a season, per se, but Comedy Central’s gotta make
money off Chappelle somehow, so it will air segments that were already taped
minus his typical introductions.
Road Tasted
Premiere Date: July 11, 2006
Network: Food Network
Paula Deen is the sweetest southern belle of cooking and a
pleasure to watch. In this show, her fun-loving sons, Jamie and Bobby,
crisscross the country in search of the best local, hand-crafted foods. Mmmmm.
Project Runway
Premiere Date: July 12
Network: Bravo
You’re either in, or you’re out. I suggest in, seeing as
this may be the best reality show to come out of Bravo, ever. (Queer Eye doesn’t count.)
Driving Force
Premiere Date: July 17
Network: A&E
So, A&E puts out some interesting reality fare and yes,
I’ve been known to watch Inked, Flip This House and Airline — sue me for being a reality TV whore. But this supposedly
fast-paced reality series features racing legend John Force and his three
drag-racing daughters. Cars and girls and reality television, oh my!
Eureka
Premiere Date: July 18
Network: Sci-Fi Channel
The premise — a U.S. Marshal stumbles upon a town of
government-relocated geniuses in a picturesque Pacific Northwest town called Eureka — sounds appealing
enough. However, Sci-Fi Channel shows sound good on paper but have the capacity
to be cheesy as hell.
Jewels
Premiere Date: August 7
Network: A&E
After trying to turn a class of prim and proper British
prep-schoolers into rockers on VH1, Simmons moves his star power to A&E,
revealing the softer side of himself and his untraditional family life. Think The Osbornes, only with less “fucks†and
more intelligible dialogue.
This article appears in Jun 14-20, 2006.