Here in Tampa Bay, 2024 will probably go down as the year two back-to-back hurricanes kicked our collective ass. But it was an exceptionally long year, and it’s easy to forget all the other stuff.

For example, in just the last 12 months, Temple Terrace had a rogue kangaroo problem, there was a Bloomin’ Onion fight, rich guys tried to block off the beach, and who could forget when Chad Chronister got thoroughly debased by Donald Trump?

Yes, Tampa Bay certainly Tampa Bay’d in 2024. So, here are a few of the more notable moments, good and bad, that helped define our big dumb year. 

Tampa strip clubs sprung into action after hurricanes After two back-to-back hurricanes, thousands were without power around Tampa Bay, and the biggest local celebrities were without a doubt the linemen. As a thank you for working tirelessly to turn the juice back on, one Tampa strip club wanted to make sure these linemen are also turned on… but with strippers. Read the full story here
Dave Bautista’s Trump diss In a segment on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” the Tampa resident and “Dune” star did not hold any punches about how he feels towards Donald Trump. “He’s barely strong enough to hold an umbrella,” said Bautista. “He’s got jugs. Big ones. Like Dolly Parton. And you know that little dance he does? He looks like he’s jacking off a pair of giraffes.” Read the full story here
Perry Farrell’s Tampa meltdown eventually led to the entire Jane’s Addiction tour getting cancelled Farrell launched into many nonsensical rants about cow pastures, mushrooms, surfing, living in Florida, and arguing with his brother about politics, among other undecipherable topics. Chugging from a full bottle of wine throughout the performance, one almost got the feeling that this wasn’t the first bottle he’d uncorked for the night. At one point, during one of his ramblings, Navarro deliberately cranked out a loud, piercing chord on his guitar, as almost to silence Farrell and get the show back on track. Read the full story here
Democrat pulls a Scooby Doo villain manuever Elected four times to the state House as a Democrat, Tampa lawmaker Susan Valdes on Dec. 9 added to Republicans’ supermajority. Valdes announced she had become a Republican, saying she expected to be “welcomed and treated with respect” by her new party. The move, which drew a rebuke from House Minority Leader Fentrice Driskell, D-Tampa, came a week after Valdes lost a bid to become chairwoman of the Hillsborough County Democratic Executive Committee. In a statement posted on X, Valdes said she didn’t want to “waste” her final two years in the Legislature “being ignored in a caucus whose leadership expects me to ignore the needs of my community.” “I’m tired of being the party of protesting when I got into politics to be part of the party of progress,” Valdes said. Read the full story here
Someone’s pet kangaroo explored Temple Terrace for a few days A large kangaroo was popping up on doorbell cameras in Temple Terrace last February, and were eventually were able to wrangle the loose marsupial. A large kangaroo was popping up on doorbell cameras in Temple Terrace last February, before authorities were eventually able to wrangle the loose marsupial. The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office says it responded to an apartment complex near Fowler Avenue and 56th Street, after someone called stating that there’s a kangaroo in the pool area. “Fire or medical?” the dispatcher asked in the video. “I guess police. There’s, uh, a kangaroo in my apartment complex,” said the caller. Read the full story here
The good lord blessed us with a dog cruise Typically, only service dogs are allowed on cruise ships, but earlier this year Cruise Tails and Expedia Cruises of West Orlando announced the “first-ever dog-friendly cruise,” departing from Tampa in November 2025. The cruise, which be hosted on the Margaritaville at Sea’s Islander ship, will accommodate 250 seaworthy dogs and their parents and include “gifts and samples from top vendors, dog shows and trainings, guest speakers, costume contests, parades, and more,” says a press release. Read the full story here
To the surprise of no one, that ‘Lieutenant Dan’ guy ended up being sketchy The itinerant, heavily tattooed amputee sailor who captured the world’s attention this fall insisting he would ride out Hurricane Milton aboard his small sailboat in Tampa Bay served nearly six months behind bars in Florida recently for punching a police officer and last year was arrested over allegations he tried to set a woman on fire with gasoline. Read the full story here
People were selling the mangled corpse of Tropicana Field Tropicana Field’s demolished roof became a sort of symbol for Hurricane Milton’s wrath on the Tampa Bay area, and people were selling pieces of the venue’s carcass on Facebook Marketplace. There were at least four people selling scraps of the shredded roof, with some posts asking thousands of dollars. “I stopped to pick up a small piece which is the main picture then saw a giant, roughly 20′ x 15′ section further down the road. The whole thing is yours for the price listed,” wrote Tyler de Jong, who had the highest asking price for roof scraps, and was selling his piece for $2,500. Read the full story here
In a span of a couple days, Chad thought he had a new job, got endorsed by an InforWars pastor, and was called a liar by Trump There’s plenty of speculation about Chronister’s change of heart, but Trump—in a post criticizing the Wall Street Journal’s story about the development—attempted to take charge of the narrative by calling Hillsborough County’s seven-year sheriff a liar. “…he didn’t pull out, I pulled him out because I did not like what he said to my pastors and other supporters,” Trump, a habitual liar, wrote on his Truth social. Besides openly admitting that he isn’t vetting candidates for his administration, the president-elect also did not provide any proof or details on what Chronister may have said to his “pastors and other supporters.” Read the full story here
Judge denies local rich guys who tried and failed to block the pubic from using the beach Last summer, a federal judge sided with the Pinellas County town of Redington Beach in a long-running legal fight with waterfront property owners about public beach access. U.S. District Judge Virginia Hernandez Covington issued a 53-page ruling that said the town had adequately shown a history of “customary use” by the public of parts of the beach that are privately owned. Covington upheld a 2018 ordinance that sought to protect customary use of what are known as “dry sand areas” of the beach for such activities as walking, sunbathing, fishing and building sand castles. The waterfront property owners argued that the ordinance was an unconstitutional “taking” of their private property. Read the full story here
A major road hazard was removed from the Selmon Expressway Last April, a nine-foot alligator was removed from the Selmon Expressway in Tampa, according to a social media post from the Florida Highway Patrol. “Life is like a box of chocolates – You never know what you’re gonna find!,” wrote the agency. The FHP says a trooper (along with the help of a trapper) removed the gator from the eastbound lanes near the express lanes headed towards Brandon. The gator was relocated to an undisclosed area, says the FHP. Read the full story here
Some absolute turd left his dog tied to a pole during Hurricane Milton While Hurricane Milton barreled toward Tampa Bay, an abandoned dog was rescued in Tampa, after its owners presumably left the animal to die alongside the road. The Florida Highway Patrol shared a video to social media showing a trooper approaching a white dog, left alone, tied to a pole alongside Bruce B. Downs Boulevard in the New Tampa area. “FHP Troopers rescued a dog left tied to a pole on I-75 near Bruce B Downs Blvd. this morning.” wrote the agency. “Do NOT do this to your pets please…” Read the full story here
A Tampa man roasted Trump on live TV “I want to give you the opportunity to try and win back my vote,” said the 56-year-old construction worker to Trump, “your action and maybe inaction, during your presidency and maybe the last few years, sort of, was a little disturbing to me. What happened during January 6 and the fact that you waited so long to take action while your supporters were attacking the Capitol? Coronavirus — I thought the public was misled during the coronavirus. And I feel many more lives could’ve been saved if we had been informed better.” Read the full story here
Tampa’s biggest idiots had to be reminded not to shoot anyone Thanks to 20-plus years of Republican control, Florida is flush with untrained morons with firearms, so it makes sense that last July the Tampa Police Department (TPD) felt compelled to share a public service announcement video across social media, pleading with locals to not commit manslaughter over the holiday weekend. “We want to remind you that celebratory gun fire is not permitted,” said an officer in the video. “What goes up must come down…bullets can reach as high as 9,000 feet, and you don’t know where they’re gonna land. So while we’re keeping you safe, do your part and keep bullets out of the sky.” Read the full story here
Temple Terrace residents fattened up a gator and named it Coca-Cola Last March, a 450-pound, nine-foot-long gator was raising concerns from Temple Terrace residents after someone tore a hole in the retention pond fence where it lived. The gator, a male named “Coca-Cola” since it was found near the Coca-Cola plant on Fowler Avenue, was spotted being fed ham and chicken by people, which is not only illegal but incredibly dangerous. Read the full story here
A murder log held up some planes at MacDill Tampa’s MacDill Air Force Base is home to quite a few alligators, and apparently keeping them off the runway is just part of the job. Last April, MacDill shared photos and video of a large alligator camped under the wheels of a tanker plane. “Our newest toothy Airman has been relocated to a more suitable environment off base,” said the base in the post. “Special thanks to FWC for the assist.” Video footage shows officers with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission (FWC) helping to capture the apex predator, which was safely removed from the runway and relocated to a nearby pond, says the base. Read the full story here
There was a Bloomin’ Onion fight in Tampa Bay for a few days The local onion controversy came to light in June, when Outback’s parent company, Tampa-based Bloomin’ Brands, sent a cease-and-desist to St. Pete’s Good Intentions for offering a three-course, $59.99, plant-based special that included a “Blooming Onion.” “Your use of the term ‘Blooming Onion’ is in direct violation of the Company’s trademark rights, as it is confusingly similar in sight or sound with a registered mark, simply adding one letter. It has been widely held that similarity in sight of sound with a registered mark for a similar product constitutes trademark infringement.” read the letter. Read the full story here
The Tampa By Times forgot it was a newspaper for a minute In a column leading up to the November presidential election, “Florida’s Best Newspaper” chose to explain to its readers why it won’t give an endorsement (though they call it a “recommendation”) to either Vice President Kamala Harris or former president Donald Trump. Despite decades of precedent, the Times now says they will not endorse a candidate because they never planned to, and that it’s also not the best use of their limited resources. This reasoning is reminiscent of a 10th grader, saying they didn’t actually get an incomplete on their homework, they just chose not to do it. Read the full story here
Local Republican wanted a redo after getting thoroughly cooked by Kathy Castor Since Donald Trump’s victory in both the Electoral College and the popular vote last month, there haven’t been as many complaints about a “rigged election” as there were at this time in 2020. That doesn’t mean that every Republican in Florida believes everything was on the up and up when it came to counting all the votes. Take Robert “Rocky” Rochford, a U.S. Navy veteran who was the GOP candidate in Florida’s 14th Congressional District. He lost decisively on Nov. 5 to Democratic incumbent Kathy Castor, who won her 10th term in office by more than 15 points. The district encompasses parts of Hillsborough and Pinellas County. Read the full story here
New College of Florida went full-blown racist According to Sailer, Black men are in thrall to a “primal African cult of fertility,” and all Black folks, being not terribly bright, “possess poorer native judgment than members of better-educated groups. Thus, they need stricter moral guidance from society.” White people, being better at stuff like morality, book-learning, and hair, must help these poor benighted African Americans. This kind of talk puts him on the lunatic fringe of the lunatic fringe: Even the dinosaurs at The National Review, not exactly friends of racial equality, declared such statements beyond the pale. Read the full story here
Credit: Image via Colin Wolf