Steal A Meal: A man was observed trying to shoplift lunch from the Publix supermarket in downtown St. Petersburg. "The suspect was seen ordering a submarine sandwich, then walking through the store with it for about five minutes. He was seen concealing said sandwich inside his shirt." The sub swindler tried to make his escape, only to be captured and held. With six prior theft convictions, the guy seems to have a real appetite for this sort of thing.
Sold! Cops responding to a domestic violence call in South St. Petersburg found a sparring couple playing their own version of Let's Make A Deal. The wife claimed her man was piss drunk and had threatened to beat her if she didn't let him back in the house; the threat didn't entice her to open the door. The husband claimed he didn't threaten her at all, saying he was "tired of her calling the police all the time and that, if she gave him $10.00, he would be out of her hair for good." The shrewd wife made an $8 counteroffer, which he "accepted with no problems." What a bargain.
Ignorance Is Bliss: Police responding to a trespassing call at Second Avenue N.E. found their man passed out on private property, "sleeping about two feet from the no trespassing sign." Bigger societal problem, illiteracy or narcolepsy?
Pavement To Penitentiary: A man took a nasty spill while riding his mountain bike on Fourth Street N. The man looked like he had "fallen off his bicycle and hit his head on the pavement." The bicyclist was bleeding from his left ear and needed further medical attention. A worse turn of events for the biker, the cop on the scene ran a check and discovered an outstanding warrant. The cops placed the man under arrest and impounded the bike for "safe keeping."
Overreaction of the Week: At the Shell station on Central Avenue a man got out of his car and spit on the ground. Apparently, the two guys sitting in a nearby Jeep thought the loogie hit their truck, and began cursing and swearing at him. The spitter said he "apologized if they thought he spat on their car," and headed inside to pick up a few things. The dudes in the Jeep, apparently unsatisfied with the mea culpa, waited for the guy to leave, followed him to his girlfriend's house, fired a few rounds into the air and then sped off into the night. Taken from the files of the S.P.P.D.
This article appears in Jun 2-8, 2005.