BLOTTER MAD LIBS: Many police reports have words blacked out to protect the identity of a juvenile or to remove private information like a Social Security number. On some reports, the redactions are puzzling. Take the case of a disturbed man whose parents were trying to get him to go to the hospital. He refused and the parents called the police, who later found the man at a gas station on the corner of Habana and MLK in Tampa. The man told police that he had not been taking his medication, and that "he believes his parents are possessed and that they are out to kill him." Credit the officer on this one; he managed to talk the man into riding with him to a hospital. Once there, however, the man resisted treatment because his mother was present. The mother's statement is a bit tough to figure. It reads: "She stated that [the man] is suffering from ________ and was released from a mental institution 3 days ago. She stated he has refused to take his medicine since then and has not slept in 3 days. He has been ________ and says that _______." The officer goes on to say, "Since [the man] refused treatment and appears to be ____________, I decided to baker act him." That clears it up.
TAXI CAB CONFESSIONS: A woman reported to Tampa police that she had left her purse in a taxi cab and wanted help locating it. According to her initial story, she was picked up by a yellow cab at Channelside and dropped off at a Shell station at the corner of Westshore Boulevard and Cypress Street. Of course, she had no clue what cab company picked her up. Then, "In a later statement she advised that the cab was a van and that the cab was white." Lacking the name of a cab company or a suitable description of the vehicle, the police were at a loss on how to find the complainant's purse. The woman was helpful, however, telling the cops "that her phones have tracking devices and that we should [b]e able to find them."
POCKET CHANGE: A cop on patrol in Central Park Village made a routine drug bust when he spotted a suspect sitting in a car with "a baggie containing crack cocaine in plain sight." When the defendant was searched, the cop found "monies segregated in the fashion that is common with street level drug sales." The man had $6 in his front right pocket, $190 in the left rear pocket, and $40 in the left front pocket. Perhaps one was earmarked for donation to Ebeneezer Church and Meacham Elementary School, both of which were within 1,000 feet of the suspect.
From the files of the T.P.D.
This article appears in May 17-23, 2006.