WE ACCEPT CASH: A juvenile tried to pass a counterfeit $20 bill at a grocery store in Tampa. The clerk recognized the bill as a fake and called the kid on it, sending him fleeing in an "unknown direction." What tipped the clerk off? The officer who inspected the counterfeit bill stated he "immediately" recognized it as a fake, primarily "due to the paper consistency/texture, lack of watermark, lack of security strip, improper ink colors and smudges." The report is unclear whether or not the bill was even green.
CYBER SWIPERS: Speaking of kids running afoul of the law, a teacher at Freedom High School reported to police that his classroom had been burglarized. The teacher arrived at school at 7 a.m. one day in October, finding the cover to one of the classroom's computers ajar. "Upon closer inspection, he realized the memory card had been removed." Although there are no suspects, the instructor suspects a student. No word on whether the A/V squad has been questioned.
THE DIRECT APPROACH: A Tampa woman reported that she heard a noise in her backyard at around 7:50 p.m. on Sept. 23, went outside to investigate, and observed a short male in a white T-shirt attempting to "carry her black Fiesta gas grill over the chain link fence" between her house and the street. The woman screamed "Mother Fucker, drop my grill…God damn it!" The startled man dropped the grill, took off running and is still at large.
DELAYED REACTION: A man left his home on N. Bay Street in Tampa at around 8:30 a.m. one September morning to go to work. He stated he was the last one out of the house, and he "was positive that he had locked the lower door knob of the front door before leaving." The man's wife, clearly tired from a tough day at her job, arrived home at 4:30 p.m. and "went straight to sleep without noticing anything out of the ordinary in the house." When she woke up around 7 p.m., "she noticed all of the room doors ajar, cabinets in the master bedroom open," and jewelry, precious metals and computer equipment (total value: $3,044) missing from the home. Officers found some suspect prints and a screwdriver left behind by the thief.
PROVE IT: Two officers in an unmarked car observed the suspect in this case walking on Hillsborough Avenue in Tampa. The officers signaled the woman over to the car, and she got in, saying she "just wanted a ride." The woman then said she had a room, but it was currently in use. After asking if the officers were cops (they both said they weren't), she asked them to prove it. How? "Show your dicks," she answered. The only thing the cops whipped out were their badges, and the woman was taken into custody.
From the files of the T.P.D.
This article appears in Nov 2-8, 2005.
