Despite what anyone says, penis size matters, but not in the way you think.
American boys are indoctrinated into a culture that celebrates big dicks. Before we hit puberty, we've told exponentially more dick jokes than the number of dicks we've actually seen. We joke about what we're uncomfortable with. So, when it came time for me as a high school freshman to shower in the locker room after wrestling practice, I was terrified. Considering that I had to eat huge meals in order to compete in my 103 pound weight class, I had plenty to worry about when faced with a locker room full of naked football stars. As "gay" as this sounds, being forced to face these other dicks was probably the best thing that could ever happen to my dick confidence. At 4'10'', I was basically crotch-level with my competition. Dick size really did seem randomly assigned. A fellow 103 wrestler had some serious man luggage while an All-state defensive tackle had a dick the size of a Chap Stick case. But, most guys fell somewhere between the two extremes in the same way that we all basically had the same sized ears; our members were all large enough to do what biology intended of them.
While penis size does matters for many women, it matters more for men.
We all want to have giant dicks, not necessarily to please women, but so we can make good on our threats to dick-slap our dude friends. Dick size is like income; no matter how much you have, you think you will be satisfied with about 30% more.
This penis insecurity is partly due to the fact that the average dick size is a mystery. Women aren't nearly as insecure about their breast size because their chests are harder to conceal. Aside from spandex wrestling uniforms, most dicks can hide comfortably in baggy denim for the majority of their lives. To make matters worse, we really only have the giant dicks of porn to compare ourselves against.
In my year as Sex & Love editor, I've come to this basic assumption about penis preference which I'm sure will piss off plenty of women. In GENERAL, women who have experienced a wide variety of penis sizes, or women with larger frames, tend to prefer larger dicks. On the reverse side, women who have only experienced average dicks aren't sure if size matters. Translation: in GENERAL, women prefer big dicks.
In an effort not to offend anyone with less than a titan penis, most women make an effort to say that there is such a thing as too large. However, the instances of a penis being too large to work with are about the same as a penis being too small to work with; both are rare.
Other than having the ability to back up your big dick jokes, big dicks do offer some advantages. They may be able to stimulate the g-spot more effectively and they can penetrate deeper. On the flip side, some may have difficulty reaching a full erection or penetration. Small dicks are not without their advantages. Awkward erections are easier to conceal. Small penises can reach full penetration, are easier too deep throat, are often harder, and they make it easier for the female to stimulate her clitoris on the man’s pubic bone.
Still, in GENERAL, women prefer big dicks. You can't change that. You also can't change your dick size. Very few enhancement pills actually increase your size. The ones that do have minimal effect and can lead to psychological dependence. Penis pumps and weights offer minimal benefits and maximum risk, including deformity and impotence. Penis enhancement surgery is expensive, has minimal results, and also results in a high rate of permanent deformity and impotence. You're stuck with your dick size so you better get used to it.
Yes women prefer big dicks, but consider what most men prefer. We like giant firm tits, hard plump asses, tone limbs, and flawless faces. Now consider how often we date these ideal women. Rarely, if ever. So while women may prefer dating wealthy movie star men with giant dicks and fancy cars, they end up dating us: average dudes.
Luckily for most men, women are attracted to something else even more than big dicks, something we can control—-big-dick sized confidence. Recently I was flirting with the roommate of one of my woman friends. As often happens when I'm steering the conversation, our talk turned toward sex. She said she absolutely wasn’t interested in having sex with any man with a dick smaller than seven inches. I laughed and said she was an idiot. I informed her that the only way my dick stacked up to seven inches was if I got creative with the measuring tape. She didn't know how to respond. I smiled and said that while I preferred women with firm DD sized breasts, I could appreciate a woman with an A cup—her approximate size. A few beers later at a dance club, she repeatedly told me that dick size really didn’t matter; it was what the guy did with his dick that mattered. I shrugged and said I really wasn't concerned with her take on dick sizes. I had a dick that worked for me, and that's all I needed.
Had she really only enjoyed having sex with big dicks? Maybe. More likely she enjoyed having sex with men with big-dick sized confidence.
And even if you do have a small dick, this doesn't mean you can't get laid. While some women may be disappointed when you finally show them what you're working with, very few will stop the hot and heavy action or have the balls to tell you that your dick is too small. Most any dick is better than no dick. Sure she may never call you again or ask you to be her fuck-buddy, but do you really want to continue to see a woman who cares that much about dick size?
The point: you can't change your dick size, but you can change your attitude about your dick size. Walking around like you have a giant golden rod will open more bedroom doors than actually having such an ornamental dick.
Check out these other entries from The Libertine's Guide to Gallantry: Finding your type, the group pick-up, and selective self control.
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This article appears in Mar 3-9, 2010.