Since 2005, corporations and national chains have been under attack. Every year, starting around Halloween, angry people call talk radio to rant about the injustices happening in companies all over the country. Boycotts are in effect before snow starts to fall as editorials are printed, complaints mailed and protests planned.
These businesses are never in trouble for employing children from third world countries. Protesters don't care that workers are paid a substandard wage or that policies allow toxic waste into our water supply.
Companies get into trouble for wishing customers a generic and politically correct "Seasons Greetings" or "Happy Holidays." Right-wing radio programs, television shows and pundits declare themselves under attack, and the annual War on Christmas is underway.
This year the war is a bit more subdued, compared to previous years, but the participants are still as dedicated as ever.
Let's pause for a moment and admire the tenacity of the many deluded souls who think that liberals, Jews and atheists are out to destroy their sacred season. Misguided folks believe in lots of things that aren't real, like angels, devils and natural beauty, but I've never understood why so many people are angry when we declare this a holiday season for everyone.
When I was young, I'd roll my eyes at clerks who dared to presume I was Christian with their innocuous and oh-so-joyful "Merry Christmas."
"Happy Chanukah!" I'd say, reminding them we're not all on board.
Since then, I've mellowed a bit. Now I'm happy just to get a salesperson to smile during this harried season. They could call out "Happy Festivus" for all I care.
I also hesitate to say that the War on Christmas is a fake, because I was hoping the big battle would keep Christian folk preoccupied and therefore distracted from real issues like health care and gay rights.
This war hasn't distracted them, though. It's emboldened them.
For the rest of us, the idea that the most powerful majority in the country has somehow been under siege is laughable. Yes, yes, you poor oppressed oppressors. However do you sleep at night? But the War-on-Christmas drumbeat has never been about defending the sacredness of Christmas. It has always been — transparently — a ratings gambit and annual fundraising ploy.
Even as companies stop with the "holiday" nonsense and are bringing Christmas back to their catalogs and commercials, paranoia is still at an all-time high with new books and movies calling on Christian soldiers to defend their faith. It doesn't matter that this demographic controls most of the planet; they still insist their days are numbered.
This argument keeps people on the defensive and ensures a fragmented society. It works beautifully.
The American Family Association, raising a lot of money from November to January each year as they spearhead this defense, says only eight retailers remain in their annual report, "Companies Against Christmas." The AFA claims that companies using Christmas in their advertising is now up to 80 percent, compared to 20 percent from previous years.
Christians have squandered a real opportunity. They could have triggered a national conversation among themselves regarding trends that seriously take Christ out of Christmas. Instead, they've raged against those who include my kind during the Race to Spend. How noble.
Didn't Jesus, this Savior who is honored each December, encourage peace and goodwill toward others? Didn't he believe we are all God's children and teach lessons about loving our neighbors as ourselves? He embodied the true meaning of the holidays without ever once uttering "Merry Christmas."
We hear what we want to hear. "Merry Christmas," "Happy Chanukah," "Peace be with you" and "You're included, too." Unity has never really been a message conservative Christians get behind, so now this time of year is just like every other month for an angry constituency and organizations that make money off them.
When the war is over, and the focus for dollars is on Christmas shoppers alone, who will have really won? Once the AFA is finished pressuring companies to stop equating the Lord's birth with "loopy shit" like Chanukah, how will they continue to ensure a fragmented society and keep raising money?
I'm sure they'll think of something.
Read more Catherine Durkin Robinson at OutInLeftField.com.
This article appears in Dec 16-22, 2010.