Mall parking lots are deathtraps.
Lauren sees it every year as she makes the epic trek from her spot in a remote lot to the mall. "The people that work at the mall have to park pretty much in another zip code and then walk in. There's angry people, frustrated because they can't find a parking spot, that start driving like maniacs." Her advice: "Drive slow. Look everywhere, and don't try to get good parking — because you won't." Accept it and walk carefully.
You’ve got to get serious about shopping.
Lauren stresses that you must have a shopping list and know what you are looking for before you join capitalism's biggest battle. How to avoid being one of the many window shoppers trampled by their over-aggressive peers? Let technology lend a hand. "Malls now have smartphone apps," Lauren says. "Load up the app, find out what stores are where and come up with a plan of attack. Then stick to your shopping list."
Understand that you're going to wait in line.
Sure, waiting sucks, but you can make the most of this time. "Use those lines to browse flyers online through your phone, so you know what's on sale when you go into the next store. And then start working on your list. You're going to have 15 minutes." Might as well use them…
Check off your list before you get in line.
Almost as important as having a list in the first place is making sure you actually got everything on it. "You're going to be that customer where it's finally just about your turn at the register when you realize you forgot something," she says. Rather than lose your spot in line, you wait until you hit the counter before telling the cashier you forgot something and run back into the maze of shelves in search of that one last item. Lauren calls people like this "The Jerk That Everybody Hates." Don't be that person.
Tell your cashier ahead of time you need gift receipts… but don't panic if you forget.
"At a lot of stores, you'll get to the end of a transaction and be like, 'Oh, well I need a gift receipt,' or you'll completely finish it and be like, 'Where's my gift receipt?' Not all stores are smart enough to just automatically give you one for everything." So just ask and you won't be shut out. And if you forget? "Stores adjust their return policies after the holiday and are going to work with you," she says. "If you didn't get the gift receipt, it's better to just leave without it." Really, and trust the merchant? Lauren swears it's cool. "They're not out to rip you off post-holiday; they understand and are realistic that these things happen and that they're going to have to return some things without receipts."
This article appears in Nov 24-30, 2011.