If I'm in traffic and get cut off by a non-signaler, or someone's riding my ass hardcore when I'm already speeding, or makes obscene gestures at me while I’m stopped at a red light, it's inevitably some asshole in a truck. Whether you bought the truck for work so you can haul big shit around town, or because you need a tangible display of your enduring manhood, you will become the driver that I hate, the one with the too-bright headlights, American flag bumper sticker, and rain of sand and gravel that flies out from the wheel well to nick the cars around and behind you.
If somehow, miraculously, you really aren't an asshole in a truck, but just "in a truck," I suggest paying close attention to your behavior — you could very well cross the line from regular driver to full-fledged asshole without even knowing it, and find people like me shaking my furious fist at you and cursing your mother for ever birthing you in the first place.
This article appears in Apr 18-24, 2007.