After a judge on Monday lifted the restraining order on the non-medical records that were in Guetzloe's storage locker (among the 80-some cartons now owned by Orlando's Channel 6 after Guetzloe forgot to pay the rent), reporter Tony Pipitone began the first of what will surely be a delicious series of revelations of Guetzloe's politics-related sins. First up: Guetzloe's apparent lies that strip-club interests weren't behind his 2003 campaign to wreck a Daytona Beach councilwoman's election. Second: Guetzloe's apparent lies that he wasn't associated with a shady former chairman of the Orange County Expressway Authority. Guetzloe, who has a daily radio show, isn't running away even from smoking guns but neither is he offering any evidence in defense. [WKMG-TV Tuesday morning] [WKMG-TV Tuesday evening]
Tax Ripoffs by Fake Farmers Hey, hey, Gov. Crist, here's how you can pick up at least a little more tax money: Find the estimated 20 percent or so of those with special state farming tax breaks but who don't know a cud from a teat. According to a Sarasota Herald-Tribune investigation in southwest Florida, those doing the ripping would include a big-time mall developer and also Wal-Mart. (For example, they buy land for millions of dollars (with tax liability of tens of thousands of dollars a year), and while making their plans, and arranging their zoning, and so forth, they stick a few cattle on the land so that in the pre-building years, its total tax bill might come in lower than that of a guy living in a nearby trailer park.) And the Orlando Sentinel learned that some of these "farmers" move the cattle over a bit so they can temporarily create money-making camping land for events like Daytona's Bike Week. [Sarasota Herald-Tribune] [Orlando Sentinel]
Follow-Up John Patrick Shannon, the former UF law school associate dean who resigned in November after chat room records showed that he was giving really explicit advice on how to wrangle underage boys for sex [The F State, 11-10-2006, 12-1-2006], is about to plead no contest to a bunch of stuff, but one thing prosecutors couldn't get him for was being an actual "sex offender," i.e., no evidence he did anything except talk gross (really gross, but, still, Internet chat room talk to an adult). He agreed to a sex-offender-type sentence but not to plead to it and therefore won't have to register. The judge said he'd like a little more time to think over the agreement. [Gainesville Sun]
Floridians With Worse Sex Lives Than You According to trial testimony by the victim (who was age 8 at the time, on a Southwest Airways flight by herself, when Ronald Mays, 46, of Palm Harbor, sat down beside her), here are some of his seduction techniques: pulled her legs up on his lap and asked if she was comfortable (no, as a matter of fact); rubbed his forearm on her chest as he reached across her to point out the window; put a napkin with an illustration of the United States on his pants crotch and asked her to point out a state or two; put a fruit bar on his crotch and asked if she wanted some. (An FBI agent said, of the girl's body language as she pointed out Mays at a photo lineup, "[H]er cheeks grew red. She even made a fist.") [St. Petersburg Times]
More Things To Worry About Today A band of gypsies has invaded the Orlando area, apparently, on the lookout for elderly, well-off, wifeless, helpless men [Ed.: You'd think they'd declare a moratorium for a couple of weeks, anyway, in honor of Anna Nicole Smith], led by Ms. Cooter Anderson, whose photo is displayed here [Ed.: hubba hubba] [WKMG-TV (Orlando)] . . . . . Speaking of which, a former history teacher at West Boca High School (Boca Raton), Erica Chevillar, appears in a 6-page spread in the current (March) Playboy, salined up, but, still, hubba hubba [Palm Beach Post] . . . . . A Clearwater filmmaker is seeking permission from New Port Richey to block off an area of downtown to shoot part of "Oh, The Horror," with the pivotal scene consisting of crazed zombies wandering through a post-apocalyptic city [St. Petersburg Times] . . . . . Bad Week for $5 Debts: Alton Jenkins was charged with shooting a man in the eye for paying him only $5 on a $15 debt [WFTV (Orlando)], and James Morton was charged with beating a man to death over a lingering $5 crack-cocaine deal [WPLG-TV (Miami)] . . . . . Latest marijuana grow house with faulty wiring (summoning the fire department and sort of ending the business instantly): on SW 152nd Place in Miami (but the proprietor was last seen, ass and elbows only) [Miami Herald] . . . . . A middle school student in Punta Gorda got caught carrying $1,830, but he's got even more 'splaining to do because every last dollar was counterfeit [WFTV (Orlando)] . . . . . Three Jacksonville judges who received threats from a distraught dad in a custody case want the man jailed, but he defends himself by parsing his specific words as not all that harmful (a concept that requires you to believe that a guy crazy enough to threaten three judges would surely never exceed the technical wording of his threats) [Florida Times-Union] . . . . . And the good news: A 46-yr-old fisherman was rescued from Starke Lake in Ocoee after his dog (sitting in the boat) bumped the throttle, sending the man over the side [CFNews13.com (Orlando)].
This article appears in Feb 14-20, 2007.