Leave the gun. Bring the olive oil.

FLORIDA LEADS NATION IN HOMELESS BEATINGS
And that's just the St. Pete Police Department.

PELOSI IN THE MIDDLE EAST
Her scatalogical imitation of Dick Cheney bending over was apparently a huge hit with the leaders of terrorist nations she visited.

IMUS INSULTS BLACKS
A desperate bid to hang onto his white geriatric demographic.

THE SOPRANOS
Spoiler alert: Series abruptly ends when Tony and Carmela do a mix-in with Paulie Walnuts.

BLOGGER CIVILITY GUIDELINES
Web visionaries, Wiki founder working on new rules to moderate the blogosphere; obscenities and death threats to be replaced by "oh yeah?" and "sez you."

THE MASTERS
Ahh, spring, when the thoughts of idle rich white boys turn to the greens of Augusta.

GINGRICH CALLS FOR GONZO'S RESIGNATION
Complains that he didn't lead the Republican Revolution so some yutz could screw up a batch of politically oriented firings; he led the Republican Revolution so that such purges could be done right.

MANATEE MOVING OFF ENDANGERED LIST
Powerboat lobby upset about how many "props the watery beasts are dinging up."

RUDY SNUBS RICK
Giuliani doesn't invite Mayor Baker to St. Pete speech, focused efforts instead on the big "get": an appearance by Pinellas Tax Collector Diane Nelson.