Divorced women know the story. You're doing ok, floating by on alimony, and learning to love Oscar Mayer bologna and Publix Spring Water. (Boar's Head and Evian? Dream the fuck on.) Perhaps you're even beginning to think about penises again. Maybe getting ready to seek one out via online dating or asking friends if they know any single penises. The point is, you're moving on, forging ahead, leaving the divorce crap behind and feeling pretty good about the future. Then suddenly something happens that threatens to put you back at square one. Maybe it's hearing a song that played at your wedding, like "You Are A Magnet and I Am Steel." Or, perhaps it is finding his lone tennis shoe at the back of the closet. For me it was facing the holidays as a divorcee for the first time, or more specifically, holiday parties.
This article appears in Apr 4-10, 2013.