Editor's Note
An ad for Citizen Verdict in this and recent issues of the Weekly Planet indicated that we had given the movie 5 planets and referred to it as "stellar." In fact, our first review of the film by Sarasota staff writer Allyson Gonzalez gave the movie a 3-planet review in the Jan. 26 issue when it was part of the Sarasota Film Festival. Through a computer error, the review showed up with 5 planets on the website. The "stellar" was not in the text of Gonzalez's review; rather, it's the term we use to describe a 5-planet review (4 planets is "Heavenly"). Film critic Lance Goldenberg's review in this issue coincides with Citizen Verdict's theatrical release.
NEW THIS WEEK:
CITIZEN VERDICT (NR) Reality TV and the American legal system are the primary targets in this bungled project, set in Tampa but shot mostly in South Africa and Canada, from South Florida filmmaker Phillippe Martinez. Jerry Springer references himself, playing a sensationalistic TV personality who hooks up with a tough-on-crime Florida governor (a sleepwalking Roy Scheider) to produce a new show where viewers put someone on trial, vote on the verdict, and then get to witness a pay-per-view execution. Citizen Verdict's themes are undeniably important but they've all been tackled many times before, usually with significantly more skill and imagination – and even if the movie's attempts at satire weren't so over-obvious and out of date they'd still be watered-down to the point of no return. Ill-considered scenes designed to assure us of the movie's patriotism pop up every so often for no apparent reason other than to atone for the film's periodic jabs at America's bad habits. It's hard to say whether Citizen Verdict lacks the courage of its convictions or if it simply lacks vision, but the movie seems to be working overtime to please all the people all the time, and, as is usually the case with something so transparently desperate, fails. The clumsy editing, mediocre performances and erratic pacing don't help either (the film veers haphazardly from satire to melodrama via glimpses into the cliché-ridden personal lives of its characters), and the numerous shots of South Africa unconvincingly standing in for Tampa don't exactly add much local color. Also stars Armand Assante and Justine Mitchell. Opens May 6 at local theaters. 
FEAR AND TREMBLING (NR) It's not just the Lost in Translation fan club who'll be taken with this delightfully droll account of a Westerner on the other side of the looking glass in Japan. Sylvie Testud is marvelous as Amelie, a Belgian woman whose nostalgia for a brief childhood stint in Japan prompts her to leave Europe and secure a translator's job at a big Japanese corporation. Positioned at the very bottom of a long and elaborate chain of command, Amelie soon finds herself thrown into a state of perpetual confusion and humiliated at every turn by her various superiors, often for the apparent sin of doing too good a job. Burdened with ever more maddening or mundane tasks, Testud's character takes the very Japanese tack of saving face and refusing to resign, while taking the very un-Japanese tack of sticking around the office after hours and prancing about on her bosses' desks stark naked. Based on an autobiographical novel by Amelie Northomb, Fear and Trembling has a ball skewering the rigidly codified and (to us) incredibly bizarre hierarchies of the Japanese workplace. The film is most engaging when it's observing the oddities of Japan's corporate arena as conscience-less food chain, but there are glimpses of compassion here too that keep the film from becoming anything less than three-dimensional. Also stars Kaori Tsuji, Taro Suwa and Bison Katayama. Opens May 6 at Sunrise Cinemas in Tampa. Call theater to confirm. 1/2
HOUSE OF WAX (R) If you're expecting anything remotely like a remake of the 1953 Vincent Price film by the same title, forget it. Other than boasting a deranged sculptor as one of its characters (here lovingly renamed Vincent), this House of Wax bears virtually no resemblance to the quaint little 3D thriller for which it's named. Instead, what we have here is one of those ultra-aggressive, modern day descendants of the slasher movie and the Texas Chainsaw school, in which attractive-but-none-too-bright kids venture into some area where they have no business being and find themselves summarily sliced and diced by sadistic mutant rednecks. There are lots of creepy mannequins on display, the one big holdover from the original House of Wax (although the way they're obsessed on is closer to another vintage horror flick, 1979's too-often-overlooked Tourist Trap), but the movie mostly eschews atmosphere in order to do what's expected of it. To the movie's credit, it does what it does pretty well, and some of its imagery is genuinely disturbing in a borderline surreal way, but the real reason to buy a ticket is for the sheer weirdness factor of watching Paris Hilton's "performance." Also stars Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, Brian Van Holt and Jared Padalecki. Opens May 6 at local theaters.
RECENT RELEASES:
THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (R) This remake of the much-loved but not very good haunted house flick from 1979 begins with creepy noises, and quickly escalates into squabbles and open rifts between the various family members inhabiting a malignant house that's clearly seeking to possess and destroy them. Shortly thereafter, Amityville '05 tips its hand and then peaks way too early – less than half an hour in, the house is dripping blood all over the place and ghostly, ghoulish visions are leering over every shoulder – all but deflating the movie's more subtle, psychological side, particularly its Shining-lite proposition that true horror is what lurks beneath the surface of the All-American Happy Family. Still, Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George turn in serviceable performances as the besieged leads, and there's no denying that the movie produces a handful of solid albeit uninspired scares. Also stars Philip Baker Hall and Jesse James. 1/2
THE BALLAD OF JACK AND ROSE (R) Daniel Day-Lewis was coaxed out of semi-retirement to act in this new project by his director-wife Rebecca Miller (Personal Velocity), making it all the more disappointing that the film turns out to be not particularly good. Basically shapeless and heavy-handed at all the wrong moments, The Ballad of Jack and Rose is about, among other things, the fading dreams and perhaps too-intimate relationship of a terminally ill, hippie-dippie dad and his precocious, nearly-grown daughter. Day-Lewis plays the dad, Jack, a chain-smoking environmentalist living in something approaching total isolation with his beautiful, budding daughter, Rose (Camilla Belle). The film opens up, briefly, when Jack brings a woman into the house to act as a surrogate wife-mother (a pair of teenaged boys are attached, providing some amusing interactions), but Day-Lewis' central character remains too vaguely drawn and unsympathetic, and the movie's core father-daughter dynamic is a mess. Also stars Catherine Keener and Jena Malone.
FEVER PITCH (PG-13) Without looking at the credits of Fever Pitch, you'd probably never know this was directed by gross-out kings Bobby and Peter Farrelly (There's Something about Mary, Kingpin, et al). There are a handful of gags involving Farrellian fave topics like vomit and testicles, but this is otherwise a surprisingly conventional and sweet-natured romantic comedy, all but devoid of the shock tactics, low humor and high concepts of most of the brothers' output. Former SNL funnyman Jimmy Fallon stars as a mild-mannered Boston schoolteacher, whose seasonal transformation into a rabid Red Sox fan threatens his budding relationship with a pretty young professional (Drew Barrymore). It's all fairly predictable stuff but it goes down fairly easy. The main problem here is Fallon, who's far better than he was in Taxi but still looks like someone who simply can't carry a movie. Also stars Jason Spevack, Jack Kehler and Ione Skye. 1/2
FRANK MILLER'S SIN CITY (R) Maybe the most extravagantly brutal live-action cartoon ever made, Robert Rodriguez's new movie boasts a ravishing look, an all-consuming attitude, and, most of all, a devotion to excess. This is the sort of movie where even the good guys are bad, where characters are shot dozens of times before they finally die, and where faces are beaten to a bloody pulp, all captured in loving close-up as if to demonstrate the true meaning of pulp fiction. Rodriguez is officially the director here (with pal Quentin Tarantino listed as "guest director"), but, as the movie's full title more than implies, this is Frank Miller's show all the way. Miller is the designer and guiding light of the graphic novels on which Sin City is based, and virtually every frame of the film is a stunning ode to the monochromatic artistic sensibility that permeates Miller's work. Stars Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Clive Owen, Benicio Del Toro and Rosario Dawson.
THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (PG) The long-awaited film adaptation of Douglas Adams' cult-beloved sci-fi absurdity stars Martin Freeman (from BBC's The Office) as Arthur Dent, the hapless English everyman yanked off of Earth by a friend who's more than he seems (Mos Def) seconds before the planet is destroyed to make room for an interstellar highway. Dent and friend shortly end up on a runaway starship piloted by the idiotic President of the Galaxy (the always watchable Sam Rockwell) and Dent's Girl Who Got Away (Zooey Deschanel); along with Marvin the Paranoid Android, the motley crew endures sidetracks and setbacks on its quest for The Answer to Everything. Director Garth Jennings plays it fast and lavish, mixing Gilliam-esque live-action puppetry and cutting-edge CGI. Freeman and Deschanel both bring warmth to somewhat underdeveloped roles, and Rockwell plays the over-the-top Zaphod Beeblebrox with deceptive ease (and a drawl that occasionally parodies that of America's current Commander in Chief). It's Mos Def, however, who steals every scene in which the characters actually matter – his perfectly human Ford Prefect never under- or overdoes it. Overall, Hitchhiker's Guide is an entertaining ride, but one that's kneecapped a bit by its attempt to cover every base between edgy satire and family fun. Also stars John Malkovich and the voice of Alan Rickman.
HOUSE OF D (PG-13) David Duchovny's directorial debut is bad on so many levels it's hard to know where to begin. Awkwardly written, over-earnest and utterly unoriginal, the former X-Files icon's coming-of-age tale often feels as if it was constructed according to some unspeakable how-to manual for hack directors. Duchovny himself appears in the opening sequence as an expatriate artist recounting the story of his life to his estranged wife and child, at which point the movie dissolves into an extended flashback of early '70s Manhattan, and a generic voice-over takes over. Anton Yelchin is passable as the narrator's 13-year-old self, but surrounding him is a stable of insufferable stereotypes from a pill-popping single mom (Tea Leoni) to a streetwise, advise-dispensing hooker (Erykah Badu) to – brace yourselves now – a sweet-natured, mentally disabled janitor played by Robin Williams. If Williams' Gump-ish man-child doesn't drive you right over the edge, the obligatory classic rock soundtrack or regular infusions of tear jerking clichés just might. Also stars Frank Langella. 1/2
THE INTERPRETER (PG-13) Glossy production, political relevancy and an A-List of names behind and in front of the cameras can't save director Sydney Pollack's The Interpreter, a suspense thriller with very little suspense and even fewer thrills. Nicole Kidman stars as a U.N. translator who accidentally overhears a plot to assassinate an African dictator and then finds herself locking horns with and (you guessed it) eventually drawn to the secret service agent (Sean Penn) handling the case. At root, the plot is simple – a race against time to stop foreign terrorists from making a spectacular kill on American soil – but the movie is so concerned with making us think it's smarter than it is that it endlessly and needlessly complicates itself with Maguffins involving the various competing (and imaginary) African factions who may or may not be part of the conspiracy. There are some exciting individual sequences in The Interpreter but they don't hang together or add up, and the simmering but basically dull romance between Kidman's and Penn's characters is a cliché of the worst sort. Also stars Catherine Keener.
KING'S RANSOM (PG-13) In the final stages of his divorce settlement, marketing mogul Malcolm King (Anthony Anderson of Kangaroo Jack) decides to kidnap himself to avoid negotiating the split of his multi-million dollar firm with his greedy wife (Kellita Smith). In the meantime, three other plans to kidnap King are hatched, and he ends up in the basement of a home owned by Corey (Jay Mohr), a recently jobless fast food employee. Hilarity almost ensues. The plot's predictability leaves obvious room for improvisation but all the actors seem to be channeling other comedians; Anderson misuses the sarcasm of Bernie Mac and Chris Rock, while Jay Mohr, in his funniest moments, suggests Adam Sandler's Water Boy persona. The highlight of the film is Donald Faison of Scrubs fame, who plays a valet service attendant mistakenly kidnapped after being confused for King. Compared to the rest of the cast, Faison is a comic genius, inciting laughs with nothing more than a well-timed grin. Also stars Regina Hall and Loretta Devine. 1/2
-Matthew Pleasant
KUNG FU HUSTLE (PG-13) Even though they share a lot of the same cultural baggage, Stephen Chow's Kung Fu Hustle is worlds apart from the highly poeticized elegance of something like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Silly, sloppy, sometimes gleefully crude, Chow's movie is a hoot, pure and simple, a goofy throwback to the glory days of Hong Kong's Shaw Brothers studio, sort of like Kill Bill minus all the blood and attitude. Kung Fu Hustle sends up the whole martial arts genre even as it proves immensely satisfying as the very thing it spoofs – a kick-ass kung-fu flick. The plot, which constantly winks at its own silliness, revolves around a colorfully seedy neighborhood called Pig Sty Alley, whose residents attempt to fend off various super-assassins sent out by a gang of thugs they've managed to offend. The movie's humor is an unapologetically broad mix of slapstick and low-brow wackiness: exposed butt cracks and bugged-out eyeballs are the order of the day, and politically incorrect stereotypes run rampant. Still, there's a lot of pleasure to be had here, at least for anyone willing to suspend disbelief and get in touch with their inner Three Stooges fan. Also stars Lam Tze Chung, Yuen Qui, Leung Siu Lung and Huang Sheng Yi. 1/2
A LOT LIKE LOVE (PG-13) Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet star in a romantic comedy following two friends as they slide in and out of each other's lives over the course of seven years, only to eventually look deep into each other's eyes and arrive at the conclusion that, after all those years of looking for love in the wrong places, the two of them are actually? Aw, but that would be giving it away (as if you didn't already know). Also stars Kathryn Hahn and Kal Penn. (Not Reviewed)
MELINDA AND MELINDA (PG-13) Woody Allen's latest film offers what purports to be two versions of a single story, as a pair of playwrights sit around a dinner table spinning alternate takes, one comic and one tragic, on the same basic scenario. This would appear to be an ideal framework for Allen, whose best work has always skillfully balanced those twin poles and whose entire career has often been reductively framed as a battle between the "funny/good" early Woody and the "serious/boring" later Woody. Unfortunately, the movie never lives up to its intriguing premise, with neither of the stories featured in Melinda and Melinda amounting to much or dovetailing with the other in particularly interesting ways. Most problematic of all, there simply isn't much difference between what's supposed to be comic and what's supposed to be tragic in the two simultaneous narratives of Melinda and Melinda, other than casting comedian Will Ferrell (self-consciously aping Allen's patented delivery) in one of the stories, and some overly manipulative soundtrack music (nervous Stravinsky and Bartok for the "serious" story, jaunty jazz and Tin Pan Alley for the "funny" one). Also stars Radha Mitchell, Amanda Peet, Chloe Sevigny and Jonny Lee Miller.
MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS (PG-13) Workmanlike writing and direction are the best things you can say about this sequel in which agent Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock), now a big media celebrity doing PR for the FBI, gets pulled back into active duty when her pal, Miss USA, is kidnapped. There's a female buddy movie angle here too – with Regina King on hand as the antagonistic bodyguard with whom Bullock will inevitably bond – and a couple of forgettable sidekicks, including a clueless male agent and Bullock's mincing Queer Eye for the FBI Agent stylist. The film juggles its various elements, mixing a little bit of comedy with a little bit of action, but not much happens and it's all equally predictable and bland. A virtual cameo by William Shatner breathes momentary life into the proceedings, but the rest is numbingly dull and listless, right down to the obligatory outtakes over the closing credits. Also stars Treat Williams, Ernie Hudson, Enrique Murciano and Diedrich Bader.
NOBODY KNOWS (PG-13) Based on a true story that shocked Japan in the late '80s, Nobody Knows offers a refreshingly unsentimental and unsensationalized account of four young brothers and sisters getting by more or less or their own. Twelve-year-old Akira (Yagira Yuya) is the man of the house, while a flaky, promiscuous mom flits in and out of the kids' lives, disappearing from the scene altogether by the film's mid-point. Abandoned and unschooled, both formally and in the ways of the world, the kids create their own insular community, and Nobody Knows takes place almost entirely within that private world of the children's apartment, with only occasional forays into the outside world.
SAHARA (PG-13) A bland, by-the-numbers action-adventure project mostly notable for being the directorial debut of someone named Breck Eisner, who just happens to be the son of former Disney CEO Michael Eisner. Sahara is based on one of Clive Cussler's Dirk Pitt books, with an artificially tanned and carefully rumpled Matthew McConaughey playing Pitt as a cocky, carefree Indiana Jones-lite. The plot is a mishmash that brings together a search for a lost civil war battleship, a deadly virus, corrupt Euro-industrialists and African warlords, with some faux-007 music slapped on the ostensibly suspenseful parts, and classic rock chestnuts by Lynyrd Skynyrd and Steppenwolf liberally and gratuitously applied elsewhere. On the upside, there's nothing too terribly awful or pretentious here, but everyone seems to be sleepwalking through their non-demanding roles, from Steve Zahn as the obligatory comic relief sidekick to Penelope Cruz as the love interest. You might just find yourself dozing off, too. Also stars William H. Macy. 1/2
WALK ON WATER (NR) Although it's essentially what you'd call a cloak-and-dagger thriller, Walk on Water piles on so many disparate thematic elements that you can almost hear it groaning beneath the weight. But better too much than too little, I suppose, and there's a lot of bang for your buck here. This is the new film from Israeli director Eytan Fox, whose Yossi & Jagger became a staple at recent gay film festivals with its same-sex romance between two Israeli soldiers, and Walk on Water also dips its toes, briefly, into queer territory. Israeli superstar Lior Ashkenazi (Late Marriage) stars as a grieving secret service agent dealing with his wife's recent suicide, and assigned to root out a Nazi war criminal by becoming friendly with the man's adult grandchildren. The female grandchild becomes a bit of a romantic diversion, the male grandkid turns out to be gay and forces the macho Mossad to confront his homophobia, and other plot thickenings touch on Israeli-Palestinian animosity and German guilt vs. Jewish paranoia regarding the Holocaust. Director Fox juggles all of these elements and, against all odds, keeps them aloft much of the time, although we can frequently feel the film straining to do so. Also stars Knut Berger and Caroline Peters.
WINTER SOLSTICE (NR) So understated it nearly evaporates into thin air, this intimate, indie drama follows a working class New Jersey family quietly reeling from the untimely death of the brood's wife and mother. Each member of the all-male household sublimates his emotional turmoil in a different way – dad (Anthony LaPaglia) through stoicism, one teenage son (Mark Webber) through slacker-dom and mild rebellion, the other, elder son (Aaron Stanford) through an overload of work and, ultimately, escape. There are no huge dramatic turning points, no explosive narrative hooks here, but the film manages to engage by exhibiting a sure, steady power through its attention to detail, natural rhythms and solid performances. Also stars Allison Janney. 1/2
XXX: STATE OF THE UNION (PG-13) Xander Cage, the token badass from 2002's XXX (played by Vin Diesel), has been mysteriously killed in action – or perhaps he was just too busy pursuing a family-friendly image with Disney. Either way, NSA agent Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) has already managed to find Darius Stone (Ice Cube) to fill Xander's shoes. Just in time, too, because a right-wing nut job (Willem Dafoe in Green Goblin mode) is conspiring to kill the president! What follows is a garbled mess fraught with clumsy exposition, confusing editing, plot holes, absurd situations, bad rock/rap music and a remarkable disregard for proper U.S. presidential succession procedures. Even the action is surprisingly lackluster. Occasionally, the film manages brief flashes of wit, satirizing its obvious Bond origins to humorous effect; the cars are pretty cool, too. For the most part, however, the new XXX is just as tired, dumb and as predictable as the films it shamelessly rips off, without any of the charm. Also stars Xzibit and Nona M. Gaye. 1/2
-Zach Rosenfeld
Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted.
This article appears in May 4-10, 2005.
