Good morning! Welcome to Thursday, also known as The It's Almost Friday So What The Hell Slippery Slope.
More than 150 women gathered in St. Pete's Williams Park to rally for equality as part of the larger International Women's Day and "A Day Without A Woman" goings-on. "Get back in the kitchen, LOL," posted half a million dudes who'd last about six seconds should all women decide they're fucking done until things are fair.
Hey, remember that 10-year-old Clearwater kid who had his lunch money snatched by a 16-year-old, prompting the police to visit him at school and buy him lunch on Tuesday? Well, not only did the cops and some retailers chip in to get him the bike he was saving up for — they also caught the little shit who did the snatching while he was breaking into a car. At least when the 16-year-old is 24 and living in the hulk of a burned-out '72 VW Vanagon Westfalia, the library's internet connection will be able to remind him exactly where it all started to go wrong.
A Lakeland man with a long criminal history went on the world's most bizarre and unproductive mini crime spree in history Tuesday night, grabbing cash from a Save-A-Lot register drawer and tossing it around before threatening to kill people in a Subway and stealing a soda and makeup from a CVS. Later, of course, came the resisting arrest and the Taser deployment, so if you missed the 8:15 show, we're sorry, but the 10:15 was canceled.
And finally, did you ever find yourself tooling around Orlando and think, "yeah, this place is cool, but I wish it was just a skosh more cheeseball tourist-tacky?" Sometimes wishes really do come true, my friend.
This article appears in Mar 9-16, 2017.