Look, your weekend is going to be awesome — it's never gonna be "viral video of monkey attacking" awesome, but then, what ever is, really? This weekend, we're headed to Tampa Heights for some low-key, monkey-free fun.
1. Grab a coffee at Foundation Coffee.
Every weekend may start with cocktails, but every morning should start with coffee.
2. Cool off at Water Works Park.
It's an aquatic playground for kids, but hey, you're a kid at heart, right? Also, have you seen the view?
3. Eat an oyster at Ulele.
Columbia Restaurant magnate Richard Gonzmart does some pretty great things, like saving all the Fairyland sculptures at a ridiculous personal cost, and bringing his magic (and his money) to Tampa Heights. Ulele has some kick-ass oysters, and I'm proud to say I'm a huge fan — of the initiative, the "native-inspired" menu and the oysters.
4. Go to the grand opening of Garagiste Meadery.
You mead to go there. Seriously. (Yeah, we're sorry about the pun.)
5. Take a walking through the historic Woodlawn Cemetery.
They have a carny section, Showman's Rest. You would have to sneak into that part, which we are totally not encouraging. The whole place is cool, though. No need to break the law here. Plus, who wants a dead carny haunting you because you desecrated sacred ground?
6. Stay at Gram's.
It's alternative adventure hostel. If you can get in, stay. Seriously, it's that awesome.
7. Get your Gatsby on.
Head to the Hip Room for a Great Gatsby-themed party and show. Do not expect Leo to make a showing. Do expect to have some serious fun.
8. Get a pizza and wings at Lee's.
It says ""grocery" but we have it on good authority they have the best wings in the area and some kick-ass pizza.
9. Grab a bike and check out the neighborhood.
Coast Bikes has rentals at Water Works Park. Grab one (or bring your own) and investigate the Heights.
10. Get (and eat) some shrimp chips at Oceanic.
Think fries, not potato. They're shrimp, not potato, so, uh, maybe healthier? Look, weekends aren't about being overly concerned with "health" and "cholesterol" — the way we see it, if you avoid getting attacked by a monkey, you can call the weekend a win. Now, get out there.
This article appears in Jul 6-13, 2017.