So, Bucs fans. How sorry are you about the blackouts now? Don't you wish you could have wasted your Sunday afternoon watching that crapola on TV? For those of you who missed it (how nice for you), here's all you need to know.
• 2 missed field goals that doinked the same post right in front of me (which should be worth more points, since hitting the post is much harder to do. Just sayin')
• Chris Ivory (who?), yeah Chris Ivory, a 3rd string rookie running back who went undrafted from Tiffin (where?) Tiffin, a Division II school in, um Tiffin, Ohio after getting dismissed from Washington State (wha?)… forget it. Anyway, he gashed the Bucs for 158 yards. Just try and justify that by telling me we have a young team. Go ahead. I'm waiting. No? Moving on.
• Zero sacks by our defense for the fourth time in five games. And zero hits on Drew Brees, who actually had time to finish a tuna sandwich before completing a pass in the second quarter. True story. Ate it right up. You can't tell me it didn't happen, the game was blacked out.
• Harry Connick Jr., a New Orleans native, was in attendance but got homesick so he spent most of the game in the men's room enjoying the stench of urine and vomit.
• Cadillac Williams had 18 yards in 10 carries. But he did do something right. In the locker room after the shellacking with a dazed "who dat" look on his face, he said they were outcoached. Ding ding ding ding!!!!
• Coach? "…we have to chalk this up to a learning experience," Bucs coach Raheem Morris rattled off at 100 miles an hour.
So, we didn't learn anything during the Steelers date-rape? (metaphor for the beating we took, not their quarterback).
But wait, there's more.
"We have to go back to the laboratory, back to the drawing board and start from scratch."
Oh, no he didn't.
How many more times do we need to give this guy a do-over? Dingalings everywhere are preaching about this being a rebuilding year. Oh right, a rebuilding year.
And last year was?
I understand during growth there are growing pains, but what good is it if you keep starting puberty all over again? You sound like Peter Brady today, but eventually you're supposed to sound like Barry White or you'll never get laid. You can only apologize so many times before your premature ejaculation becomes a serious problem (for her).
Coaches are supposed to hunker down, soldier on and see their vision through to completion. If you crumple up the plans and reboot at the first sign of trouble every week, it only indicates there wasn't much of a plan to begin with.
And how can Buccaneer fans invest in a man long-term when it's becoming more and more obvious he can't see past next week? One game at a time is a cute cliché and all, but explain that to a season ticket holder who paid for the season in advance?
This article appears in Oct 14-20, 2010.