left everybody stranded on base Wednesday: Kelly Shoppach, Matt Joyce, the millionaire, and his wife, the movie star, the professor and Mary Anne. I'm not the biggest numbers guy unless I get insomnia but this particular statistic stuck out like an open sore thumb on your waiter's serving hand as it teeters on the edge of your Extreme Fajitas: 1 for 13 with runners in scoring position. That pretty much sums it up. Skipper Joe Maddon is no doubt busy with his Yahtzee dice furiously experimenting with the weekend's new line-up against Baltimore. Maddon-ing.

Helloooo, seven. $24-million bust Buc Michael Clayton will be going into Saturday's exhibition game against the Dolphins as the 7th receiver on the first depth chart of the 2010 season. The 2004 first rounder took the news with impressive and very responsible maturity.

"I've been through a lot of different quarterbacks here, but Josh Freeman is the first 'franchise quarterback' I've had a chance to play with."

(translation: It was all the other quarterbacks' fault that I dropped footballs like they were covered in red ants with chlamydia)

Clayton did say he wanted another opportunity with the Bucs, but not without adding this:

"…but I wouldn't be disappointed if it went the other way. I would let the chips fall and just do my best to take it out on the Bucs every single time I got the chance to play against them."

So Michael, let me see if I have this straight. You already have a back-up plan in place that not only includes the fact that teams will be salivating over the opportunity for your services if you get cut, but is also followed by exacting revenge on a team that obscenely overpaid you to suck donkey-balls for six years. Yeah, that'll teach 'em. Good luck with that, jackass.

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This article appears in Aug 12-18, 2010.