*New girl in school, Jenny Slate made a name for herself on SNL this week, when she let the f-word slip during a sketch. Everyone knows she totally did that on purpose! No one would know her name this week if she kept saying "freakin" like all those other Biker Chicks in the not-so-but-maybe-more-funny-than-I-thought-it-would-be season premiere Saturday night. Either she is the smartest person in that cast or she needs some soap in her mouth, A Christmas Story-style.

*In the most non-shocking news you will hear all week, or within the next five to ten minutes, Screech (I refuse to use his real name) released a portion of his "tell-all" about growing up on Saved By The Bell and things were ka-razy on set! Like, sometimes, there was smoke (that may have been drug-related) coming from the dressing rooms, Tiffany-Amber Thiessen miiiight have made out with Mark Paul Gosselar and wait for it, wait for it…Mario Lopez HIT ON GIRLS. Who would spend time reading something so ridiculous and terribly obvious?!**

*While perusing important world news, aka EOnline.com, I saw a bit of a trend this weekend: Wedding satbells. I cannot imagine how the elite of Hollywood chose between the nuptials of these A-Listers. Let's go down the list, shall we…:

This article appears in Sep 30 – Oct 7, 2009.