There isn’t one unpredictable moment in Burlesque. It's a foregone conclusion that the girl from the sticks (Christina Aguilera) will wind up a star, that the beleaguered club owner (Cher) won’t lose her bistro to the bank, that the boy (Cam Gigandet) will get the girl, and that Stanley Tucci will once more turn out to be the gay best friend (c.f., The Devil Wears Prada).
But you know what? It don’t matter a bit.
Sure, Burlesque goes on too long, there are way too many songs with the word “burlesque” in them, and by the umpteenth shot of Cher and Christina’s co-stars gazing at them adoringly as they hog the spotlight, you may want to hurl some bugle beads at the screen.
But the sheer, over-the-top splashiness of it all is pretty hard to resist. Writer/director Steve Antin doesn’t pretend it’s not a showbiz fantasy; it seems no accident that one of the key plot points has to do with air rights — in essence, possession of something that doesn’t actually exist.
And hell, the movie’s got Cher! And Christina!
This article appears in Nov 18-24, 2010.