NEW THIS WEEK:
BULGARIAN LOVERS (R) Cute but clunky Spanish sex comedy about Daniel, a gay, middle-aged businessman (Fernando Guillen Cuervo) who falls for a hunk of prime Bulgarian beefcake (Dritan Biba), and finds his life complicated when the young stud becomes involved in all sorts of shady doings. The plot goes through a number of silly convolutions that don't really add up to much, leaving us with little other than a couple of lead characters who aren't really all that interesting or appealing. Director Eloy de la Iglesia piles on the glitzy style and loads of stereotypes in portraying the Madrid gay scene (particularly the aging queens who make up Daniel's circle of friends), initially lending the film a certain charm that becomes more obvious and even grating as the movie progresses. Also stars Pepon Nieto and Anita Sinkovic. Opens Sept. 17 at Sunrise Cinemas at Old Hyde Park. Call theater to confirm. 
1/2
DANNY DECKCHAIR (PG-13) Lifting much of what makes popular Hollywood romantic comedies so popular, and re-contextualizing those basic formulas within the parameters of a little independent film from Australia, Danny Deckchair succeeds in proving that mediocre movies can be made anywhere in the world, and for any amount of money. The film strives to be sweet and just a little bit quirky but it winds up feeling self-conscious and trite, a mishmash of quasi-magical realism and Frank Capra corn, in which an Aussie everyman (Rhys Ifans) escapes his humdrum life, becomes a populist hero and finds true love with a beautiful spinster traffic cop. The film provides a handful of amusingly eccentric flourishes at the corners of its story, but it's basically very lazily written, and Ifans, so good in small, bizarre character roles like his turn in Notting Hill, simply isn't able to carry a movie all by himself. While it's not as disastrous as his attempt at "serious" acting in Vanity Fair, his efforts here to pass himself off as a romantic lead feel wrong on almost every level. Also stars Miranda Otto and Justine Clarke. Opens Sept. 17 at Tampa Theatre. Call theater to confirm.
INTIMATE STRANGERS (NR) Patrice Leconte's new film is a tale of obsession, unlikely alliances and crossed lives, in which no one is quite what they seem. It begins with a case of mistaken identity, when beautiful, distraught Anna (Sandrine Bonnaire) accidentally wanders into the wrong office and begins revealing the most intimate details of her personal life to the mousy, middle-aged tax accountant she wrongly assumes to be her new psychiatrist (Fabrice Luchini). Despite the potential for farce, the film unfolds as a nearly pitch-perfect balancing act of light and dark, where a scene revealing something touching or amusing is almost certain to be closely followed by a whiff of tension and perhaps even the hint of something ominous. Intimate Strangers traces the faux shrink's growing obsession with Anna, then complicates the story as we begin to consider that much of what the deeply troubled woman is revealing about herself may be invented for his sake. Things are further complicated when William eventually does tell Anna who he actually is, but she decides to continue their "sessions" anyway. It's a typically wry, almost perversely Leconte-ian twist in a film that delights in teasing us with the suggestion that the relationship between patient and analyst and that of exhibitionist and voyeur are essentially one and the same. There are obvious echoes here of Leconte's greatest film on obsessing and pretending, Monsieur Hire, which in turn echoed Claude Chabrol echoing Alfred Hitchcock, and the whole thing plays out with a cool elegance worthy of Hitch in his prime. Also stars Michel Dushaussoy, Anne Brochet and Gilbert Melki. Held over at Channelside Cinemas and Burns Court in Sarasota. Call theaters to confirm.
MR. 3000 (PG-13) A winning baseball comedy from director Charles Stone III (Drumline), Mr. 3000 stars Bernie Mac as retired baseball great Stan Ross, a man who displayed excellence on the field and extreme arrogance everywhere else. Think Barry Bonds crossed with T.O. and shaken with Shaq, only really self-absorbed. Nine years removed from the game and campaigning heavily for induction into the Hall of Fame, Ross is confronted with the reality that three of his 3,000 hits were statistical errors. Seeing that he has built his entire life around his hit total, Ross returns to an attendance-challenged Brewers club that is happy to let the fan-favorite chase his lost record. Mr. 3000 doesn't avoid sports move cliches (yes, there is a big game at the end) as much as it utilizes them to make larger points about the state of professional sports and the athletes who play them. In the center of it all is Bernie Mac, who turns in an assured comedic leading-man performance. The film's success hinges on his every move, and he never disappoints. Angela Bassett, Brian J. White, Michael Rispoli, and a (mostly) silent Paul Sorvino round out the excellent ensemble cast. Look out for all the cameos! Opens Sept. 17 at local theaters. 1/2
—Joe Bardi
NATIONAL LAMPOON'S GOLD DIGGERS (PG-13) Two inept, aspiring con men (Will Friedle and Chris Owen) hit on a scheme to marry a pair of rich, older women (Louise Lasser and Renee Taylor) and run off with their money. Who's really conning whom is the question the movie inevitably asks. Also stars Nikki Ziering. Opens Sept. 17 at local theaters. (Not Reviewed)
THE SEPTEMBER TAPES (NR) A made-up documentary notable mainly for being shot in the war zone of Afghanistan, pushing the hot button of global terrorism, and asking the question "What hath Blair Witch Project wrought?" The foggy-headed conceit here is that the digital footage we're watching is the video diary of a young American filmmaker who, along with his small crew, submerged himself into the wilds of Afghanistan in search of "the real war on terror," whatever that is. The problems with The September Tapes begin with the fact that our central character really has no idea of what he's after, and neither does the movie. Lars (George Calil), the movie's filmmaker protagonist, wanders around war-torn Afghanistan like some reject from Sundance, looking alternately cocky, confused or terrified, not understanding much of what's going on around him and behaving like an idiot. Writer-director Christian Johnstone's strategy is simple and occasionally more effective than anything this shallow has a right to be. He basically just throws his actors into volatile situations with the locals and films their reactions, or positions them in the exotic-chaotic landscape and has them gaze straight into the camera while attempting to inject meaning into lines like "This isn't the U.S.A." The movie takes a strange turn in its last act, when Lars' mild-mannered filmmaker inexplicably transforms into Rambo, but even with all the admittedly authentic explosions and gunshots that begin to dominate the action, the silly dialogue and bad acting still give the impression of kids playing soldier in some sort of amateur hour dress-up. Also stars Wali Razagi. Held over at Regal Citrus Park, Regal Starlight and AMC Veterans in Tampa, and Baywalk 20 in St. Petersburg.
WIMBLEDON Kirsten Dunst (Lizzie Bradbury) stars opposite Paul Bettany (Peter Colt) in a mushy, melodramatic romance peppered with clever comedy. Sound familiar? Colt and Bradbury meet at Wimbledon where Colt's luck seems to have run out. By "fooling around" with Bradbury, however, he gets his mojo back and becomes one of the top-seeded players in the tournament. To win the viewer's sympathy, the film delves somewhat predictably into Colt's childhood (he came from a fractured family) and underlines critics' contentions that he likely lacks what it takes to make it to the championship. The best thing about Wimbledon is the comedy, which is laugh-out-loud funny. John McEnroe's witty guest appearance as a commentator and James McAvoy in the role of the brother who bets against Colt rejuvenate the otherwise flat-lined plot. The humor is too infrequent to overcome the overamped action and love scenes and, in that respect, Wimbeldon resembles a watered-down version of another, better Dunst film: Spider-Man.
—Meredith Yeomans
RECENT RELEASES:
ALIEN VS. PREDATOR (R) Don't expect it to end with a kiss. The director is Paul W.S. Anderson, specialist in video game flicks like Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil, which is probably more than you need to know. (Not Reviewed)
ANACONDAS: HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID (PG-13) Big snakes. Really big snakes. Scared people. Really scared people. Any questions? Hollywood's summer of 2004 officially ends not with a bang, but with a whimper, as a scientific expedition in the jungles of Borneo encounter super-sized snakes in this sequel to 1997's best forgotten Anaconda. Is it fall yet? Stars Johnny Messner, Matthew Marsden, Morris Chestnut and Salli Richardson. (Not Reviewed)
THE BEST TWO YEARS (PG) The Best Two Years is, for the most part, unusually smart, funny and, occasionally, even self-mocking. Writer-director Scott S. Anderson, working from his own semi-autobiographical stage play, introduces us to a small group of young Mormon missionaries from America rooming together in a cramped apartment while fulfilling a mandatory service in Holland. Anderson supplies us with some surprisingly witty, fast-paced dialogue as well as characters who are considerably more believable and sympathetic than the stock types found in your average Hollywood offering. Stars KC Clyde, Kirby Heyborne, David Nibley, Scott Christopher and Michael Flynn.
THE BOURNE SUPREMACY (PG-13) Matt Damon returns as the memory-challenged assassin from The Bourne Identity. The plot here is fairly standard stuff — Damon's character is framed, resulting in a movie-length series of chases in assorted cities around the world — but the material is directed by Paul Greengrass (Bloody Sunday) with frenetic energy and a taut precision that maximizes suspense. Also stars Joan Allen, Brian Cox and Julia Stiles. 1/2
CELLULAR (PG-13) A woman's panicky distress call randomly appearing on a man's cell phone jump-starts a feature-length cat-and-mouse chase. Stars Kim Basinger, Chris Evans, William H. Macy, Jason Statham and Noah Emmerich. (Not Reviewed)
COLLATERAL (R) Collateral — a minimalist thriller that is basically just two guys in a cab (hit man Tom Cruise and his driver/hostage Jamie Foxx) — feels every bit as shallow and constricted as the lame, screenwriting 101 gimmick of its setup. The movie is engaging enough on a purely visceral level, if you don't think at all about what you're watching, but it's full of gaping plot holes and ridiculous coincidences that even the typically stylish flourishes of director Michael Mann fail to flesh out. Also stars Mark Ruffalo and Jada Pinkett Smith. 1/2
CRIMINAL (R) John C. Reilly, whose forte is depicting naked, emotional honesty, doesn't make for a particularly compelling con man in this playfully convoluted tale of a grand scam played out over the course of 24 hours, and that lack of a credible center almost does the movie in. There are other problems, too: Diego Luna (Y Tu Mama Tambien) comes off a bit too bland in the crucial role of Reilly's apprentice, and the movie suffers by transposing the action from sensual, exotic Buenos Aires to L.A. There are some nice twists here and there, and Maggie Gyllenhaal is interesting as the movie's obligatory femme fatale, but there's little here that warrants much excitement, or even a second look. Also stars Peter Mullan and Zitto Kazann. 1/2
DE-LOVELY (PG-13) This latest bio-pick on legendary American tunesmith Cole Porter reportedly focuses on the man's not-so-secret homosexuality (something that was strictly taboo in previous Porter pics) and takes a stylistic approach that sounds suspiciously like what Bob Fosse did in All That Jazz. A number of contemporary musicians are on hand too, including Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow and Alanis Morissette, performing various Porter standards. Stars Kevin Kline, Ashley Judd and Jonathan Pryce. (Not Reviewed)
THE EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING (R) The early years of the demon-battlin' man of the cloth played by Max Von Sydow in the original Exorcist. Action director Renny Harlin was called in to reshoot this entire film when original director Paul Schrader's ideas reportedly proved a little too, uh, ambitious. Stars Stellan Skarsgard and James D'Arcy. (Not Reviewed)
FESTIVAL EXPRESS (R) In 1970, various musicians like Janis Joplin, The Grateful Dead and The Band spent the better part of a week traveling aboard a train that transported them to a series of big rock festivals taking place across Canada. The festivals were noteworthy in and of themselves, but the real show took place on the train itself, a traveling party where the famous and talented could kick back, get happily stoned and jam. Festival Express is essentially a home movie of that party, and it offers a rare and very intimate look at some of classic rock's biggest icons. Also features Buddy Guy, Ian and Sylvia, The Flying Burrito Brothers and, briefly but painfully, Sha Na Na. 1/2
GARDEN STATE (R) A flawed but extremely promising debut from writer-director-star Zach Braff that blends darkly surreal comedy with some genuinely and oddly touching moments. Aspiring L.A. actor Andrew Largeman (Braff) returns to his New Jersey hometown for the funeral of his mother, only to find that life in the hinterlands is crazier than ever. Largeman spars with his strangely distant father, deals with his own confused emotions, reacquaints himself with his old, wildly eccentric friends, and falls in something resembling love with a beautiful local (Natalie Portman), most of which is handled in a manner as bizarre as it is funny. The dialogue is clever — sometimes a little too clever, perhaps, in a showy, self-satisfied way — but the film tempers its precociousness with a successful blend of the appealingly sweet and the just plain weird. Also stars Peter Sarsgaard, Ian Holm and Ron Liebman. Held over at Sunrise Cinemas at Old Hyde Park. Call theater to confirm. 1/2
HERO (NR) In Zhang Yimou's eye-catching art-fu epic, virtually every shot is suitable for framing and every battle is poetry in motion. Hero is nothing if not a feast for the senses, a cross between a lavish historical epic, a dazzling martial arts extravaganza, and an astonishingly graceful ballet performed with swords, arrows and fists. The film unfolds in flashback, Kill Bill-style, as a nameless champion (Jet Li) details his battles with a series of super-assassins — although there's more than a little Rashomon here as well, with competing versions of the truth eventually calling the original narrative into question. This is a film full of lush, unexpected pleasures, and one that puts the art back in martial arts, big time. Also stars Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Maggie Cheung, Zhang Ziyi and Donnie Yen.
A HOME AT THE END OF THE WORLD (R) A Home at the End of the World follows Bobby, Colin Farrell's wide-eyed, gentle character, from small town kid to big city adult, with special attention paid to Bobby's friendships and on-and-off-again sexual dalliances with longtime pal Jonathan (Dallas Roberts) and multi-hued-haired comrade Claire (Robin Wright Penn). The relationship isn't quite a menage-a-trois, but the essence of what's going on seems to revolve around everybody being maybe a little too in love with Bobby. Scattered throughout the proceedings are ham-fisted signposts that are supposed to illuminate the characters and their emotions, but don't. Also stars Sissy Spacek. Held over at Sunrise Cinemas and Burns Court in Sarasota. Call theaters to confirm.
THE HUNTING OF THE PRESIDENT (NR) Based on the book of the same name, this documentary on the trials and tribulations of president Bill Clinton is about as agenda-free as Fahrenheit 9/11. The film guides us through all the various scandals of the Clinton years, acknowledging the ex-pres' sexual indiscretions but taking a firm stand that there was indeed a vast, right wing conspiracy stirring up most of this garbage in an attempt to bring the government down. The Hunting of the President is low on production values and heavy on the talking heads, with attempts at Moore-ishly hip humor that are both transparent and cheesy, but it still manages to make its case with much righteous indignation and sporadic flashes of eloquence. Narrated by Morgan Freeman.
I'LL SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD (R) Director Mike Hodges, who wowed the world in 1971 with Get Carter, disappeared for about a zillion years and then returned to great critical acclaim in 2000 with Croupier, is back on familiar turf with I'll Sleep When I'm Dead. Hodges reunites with Croupier's sullen, soulful-eyed star Clive Owen, doing that old neo-noir gangster thang again in a foggy London town full of rain-slicked streets, bad men with guns and beautiful but ultimately deceitful people. The plot itself is maddeningly convoluted and ultimately maybe even a bit trivial, but the atmosphere is to die for and, in a film like this, style is everything. Also stars Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Charlotte Rampling. 1/2
THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (R) Although the villains here aren't necessarily the ones you'll expect, Jonathan Demme's remake offers a near-perfect transposition of the original film's Cold War paranoia to the contemporary paranoia of the Age of Terror. An extremely effective Denzel Washington takes on the Frank Sinatra role as a nightmare-ridden soldier who starts to doubt reality as he comes to smell conspiracy all around him, beginning with a vice-presidential candidate who may not be at all what he seems. Most of the political satire of John Frankenheimer's original film has been axed in favor of a creepy and steadily gripping atmosphere, but the film works fine that way. Also stars Liev Schreiber and Meryl Streep.
MARIA FULL OF GRACE (R) A tough, compelling film from Colombia about a desperate young woman who becomes a drug smuggler, only to find herself in even more desperate straits. The movie is remarkably restrained (even when dealing with the most garish elements) and executed in a finely detailed, no-frills manner that at times gives the film a power and authority rarely found outside of the best documentaries. Maria Full of Grace is not without its share of narrative cliches, but writer-director Joshua Marston strikes a balance by imbuing his film's mostly female characters with complex emotions and an unexpected mix of smarts and naivete that add to a sense of authenticity and urgency. Also stars Virginia Ariza and Yenny Paola Vega. 1/2
METALLICA: SOME KIND OF MONSTER (NR) As observed in this fascinating new documentary, seasoned headbangers Metallica find themselves caught between (forgive me, somebody has to say it) rock and a hard place, struggling to balance what's expected of them as celebrity musicians with what they need to survive as human beings. Over the course of three years, this epic, 140-minute doc focuses on the various band members as they air their beefs in therapy, fall apart, come together, and try to get a new record made. The talented filmmakers (Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky) don't gloss over their subjects' faults, but use them as entry points into the characters' lives, using their very human natures to make them engaging and even appealing. Stars Lars Ulrich, James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Bob Rock and Jason Newsted. 1/2
THE MUDGE BOY (R) A film that starts off as fragile as the cartons of eggs we see being hastily transported over rough road in the movie's opening shot. Mom, the guardian of those eggs, keels over and dies seconds later, leaving the rest of the film to devote itself to the strained relationship of her rigid, silent husband (Six Feet Under's Richard Jenkins) and her sweetly naíve son, Duncan (Emile Hirsch), a 14-year-old with an unnaturally close bond with his pet chicken. The movie's gently reflective surface gradually gives way to something significantly nastier, as we become immersed in the overly sensitive Duncan's introduction to the casual cruelty of the local yokels who pass for his friends. The intensity level steadily rises until the film reaches a crescendo of violence and pain that's almost unbearable, but there's also clearly something cathartic about it all. Ultimately not for the squeamish, The Mudge Boy is a beautiful and horrible coming-of-age tale from rural Anywheresville. Also stars Tom Guiry. 1/2
OPEN WATER (NR) This ultra-low budget, seat-of-your-pants production strives for a documentary-like authenticity and a premise of Blair Witch-ish simplicity — a young couple left behind by their charter boat find themselves stranded in the middle of a shark-infested ocean — but Open Water isn't The Little Movie That Could that many are hoping for. Mostly, we just watch our heroes floating around complaining and bitching at each other, so that the movie frequently seems like a production of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf in scuba gear. Chris Kentis, who shot, edited and directed Open Water, does his best to give the film an energy that belies its low budget, but the thrills here are ultimately as minimalist as the movie's premise, and the film sinks under its own lack of weight. Stars Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis. 1/2
OUTFOXED: RUPERT MURDOCH'S WAR ON JOURNALISM (NR) Robert Greenwald brings us this documentary on Murdoch-owned Fox News Channel, which touts itself as "fair and balanced." Greenwald aims to prove otherwise by offering interviews with former FCN employees (and inter-office memos they provided), as well as archive footage of everyone from George Bush to Bill O'Reilly to Ronald Reagan. Also features comments from Walter Cronkite and Al Franken, among others. Held over at Burns Court Cinemas. Call to confirm. (Not Reviewed)
PAPARRAZI (PG-13) After his wife and child are seriously injured from a car crash caused by pursuing paparrazi, a fed-up movie star (Cole Hauser) makes it his mission to put an end to the celebrity chasers' deadly overzealousness. Also stars Tom Sizemore, with reported cameos by Chris Rock, Matthew McConaughey, Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn. (Not Reviewed)
PRINCESS DIARIES 2: ROYAL ENGAGEMENT (G) PD2 picks up where PD left off, with American teen Mia Thermopolis (Anne Hathaway) flying to Genovia to assume her role as princess of the little-known European nation. Turns out Mia will become queen sooner than she thought, but by Genovian law, she must be married first. So the race to find a husband both suitable and lovable begins. Also stars Julie Andrews, Hector Elizondo, Heather Matarazzo and John Rhys-Davies. (Not Reviewed)
RIDING GIANTS (NR) In Stacy Peralta's exhaustively researched and thoroughly romanticized documentary provides what is essentially a history lesson on virtually every aspect of surfing, beginning with its founding fathers. It's those old school guys who give the movie its personality, starting with legendary hot dogger Greg Noll, a flamboyant adventurer-entrepreneur whose raunchy eloquence is a constant pleasure throughout Riding Giants. Noll and his pals, a bunch of half-slacker, half-subversive merry pranksters who first popularized the sport in the '50s and '60s, get an awful lot of screen time here, and their stories are lively enough that we rarely find ourselves fidgeting at the over-abundance of talking heads on display. If there's a real flaw to Riding Giants, it's that the movie is too damned encyclopedic for its own good. Peralta provides such a comprehensive examination of the how's, when's and why's of the sport that he often forgets it's OK occasionally to just shut up and let the images speak for themselves. Held over at Tampa Theatre. Call theatre to confirm.
RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE (R) More of that ol' video game slice-and-dice featuring cartoonish human warriors pitted against swarms of yucky, flesh-eating zombies. Stars Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory and Jared Harris. (Not Reviewed)
SHE HATE ME (R) Spike Lee seems to have a lot on his mind in his new movie. Making sense of exactly what that might be, however, is beginning to seem like more trouble than it's worth. She Hate Me spews so much random, undigested matter that it seems more like projectile vomiting than filmmaking. The movie begins as a quasi-political thriller about an Enron-esque corporate conspiracy, intermittently transforms into a shallow sex farce about a man besieged by baby-craving lesbians demanding his sperm, throws in pointless, cartoonish cameos at every opportunity, and ends as a bargain basement courtroom drama. Not only do all of the various threads in She Hate Me remain disconnected throughout, but Lee's alternative to any sort of resolution or even clarity is to simply take the movie in yet another direction, hurling one more thing at the screen in hopes that something will finally stick. Stars Kerry Washington, Anthony Mackie, Ellen Barkin, Monica Belluci and Woody Harrelson. Held over at Channelside Cinemas. Call theater to confirm. 1/2-planet
SUSPECT ZERO (R) You'll find just about every cliche and convention of the serial killer movie in this new film from director E. Elias Merhige (Shadow of the Vampire). There's the brilliant but tortured FBI agent (Aaron Eckhart) pursuing the equally brilliant serial killer (Ben Kingsley) who leaves a series of clues for his pursuer and even seems to feel some sort of link with him. Then there's the agent's intrepid love interest (who also happens to be his ex-partner), the tough but fair FBI boss, and a dark, grimy visual aesthetic deeply indebted to David Fincher's Seven. Merhige doesn't exactly manage to turn these conventions inside out, but he does do a bit of slicing and dicing at crucial junctures, re-arranging at least a few of the elements in new and interesting ways that threaten to transform the movie into something we haven't seen before. Also stars Carrie-Anne Moss and Harry J. Lennix.
VANITY FAIR (PG-13) Director Mira Nair gets most of the notes right — the atmosphere feels authentic, the costumes are sumptuous and the constant focus on the importance of class is precisely handled — and yet Vanity Fair feels rushed and ultimately superficial, trying to cram way too much story into too little screen time. Reese Witherspoon is engaging enough as Rebecca Sharp, the plucky but low-born heroine who works her way up and down the ladder of 19th century English society, but she's an odd choice that displaces the movie's emotional center of gravity. As a button-cute but surprisingly capable fish-out-of-water doing her best to make alien elements her own, she's a little too close for comfort to Elle Woods in period drag, and the movie constantly threatens to follow suit as a Legally Blonde for an earlier century. Also stars Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, James Purfoy, Eileen Atkins and Gabriel Byrne. 1/2
THE VILLAGE (PG-13) Strange creatures lurk in the woods surrounding the little rural hamlet in the latest movie from M. Knight Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense). The premise — isolated, ordinary folks encounter things that go bump in the night — contains more than a whiff of metaphor — the villagers live in fear of the sharp-clawed beasties in the forest, but Shyamalan makes it clear that the real horrors are manmade — an effect heightened by the portentously delivered dialogue and not-quite-natural behavior of his characters. A Shyamalan movie wouldn't be a Shyamalan movie without its O. Henry-by-way-of-Rod-Serling trick ending, though, and the obligatory twists and countertwists of the film's second half don't serve it particularly well. Stars Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sigourney Weaver, Adrien Brody and William Hurt.
WE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE (R) Marriage looks an awful lot like Hell in this brave, brittle, but terribly dour study of two intertwined, adulterous couples living in a small college town at the edge of the world. Terry (Laura Dern) is married to Jack (Mark Ruffalo), who's having a covert affair with Edith (Naomi Watts), who's trapped in a loveless marriage to Jack's best friend Hank (Peter Krause). In point of fact, everybody in the movie is trapped in one way or another, and the film's main fault is that it's so damned claustrophobic and melancholy, so relentless in its doomed investigation of a tissue of lies, that it simply becomes a big, black hole, sucking up all the light at the edges of its own story. The movie's opening sections swing from intimacy and sweetness to pure horror show (just like a real marriage) but, by the end, a certain sameness has set in so that it's hard to remember anything but the pain. The two male leads are watchable enough, in an anguished but emotionally unavailable way, but they're no match for the intense performances of their female co-stars — particularly Dern, who will certainly be remembered at Oscar time for her remarkable work here. Think of it as Bob & Ted & Carol & Alice without the laughs.
WICKER PARK (PG-13) Wicker Park is an annoying romantic drama staring Josh Hartnett as Matthew, an engaged twentysomething who ditches a business trip to China (and possibly his impending marriage) after spotting who he thinks may be Lisa (Diane Kruger), the love of his life who left him without explanation two years earlier. Chasing romantic ghosts leads to an old friend (Matthew Lillard) and another woman named Lisa (Rose Byrne), who knows more about Matthew's situation then it first appears. In the abstract, Wicker Park sounds like Hitchcock, but it plays as a drama and lacks any of the master's trademark suspense. After several plot manipulations too many (how often can two people almost meet, if only one wasn't bending down or turned around?), the movie seems less a declaration on love and more a wind-up toy ticking off "surprises," each less compelling then the last.
—Joe Bardi
WITHOUT A PADDLE (PG-13) A trio of Generation Whatever's (Seth Green, Matthew Lillard and Dax Shepard) star as childhood chums who reunite at a funeral and vow to honor their dead pal's dream of locating a lost treasure. The movie quickly devolves into a road trip down river, in which our heroes encounter man-eating bears with maternal urges, evil gun-toting hillbillies, sexy neo-hippie chicks, and Burt Reynolds as a scraggly-bearded mountain man. It's every bit as stupid as it sounds, and considerably more annoying for its attempts to fuse the uninspired slapstick with overbearingly "sensitive" moments of male bonding, secret bearing and soul searching. Also stars Burt Reynolds.
YU-GI-OH! (PG) Spiky-haired punk Yu Gi must use his mystical trading cards to defeat the evil villain Anubis and save the world from potential disaster. Yu-Gi-Oh! is based on Konami's popular trading card game and television show, though the big screen adaptation seems more like an hour-and-a-half advertisement ploy than a legitimate film. Yu-Gi-Oh! has no saving grace: its dialogue is comprised of characters blurting out the game's complex and incomprehensible rulebook over obnoxious sound effects in a failed attempt to provide drama for the film's monotonous card duels. In addition to Yu-Gi-Oh!'s indecipherable dialogue and bland animation, director Hatsuki Tsuji somehow manages to incorporate a storyline more difficult to follow than 2003's The Matrix Revolutions. Hats off to the parents who are willing to please their children and sit through what is quite possibly the year's most abysmal film.
—Damien Lehfeldt
ZATOICHI (R) Like Daredevil, Zatoichi is a blind guy whose other senses have been heightened to compensate for his lack of sight, resulting in extraordinary fighting skills. Daredevil isn't quite a pop icon, though, which is exactly what Zatoichi is in Japan — the hero of some 26 feature films (!) released from the early '60s to the late '80s, as well as a long-running TV show. That background information isn't crucial to appreciating this new take on the legendary Japanese hero from director Takeshi Kitano (Fireworks), a film that perfectly encapsulates the essence of the Zatoichi stories, but stands on its own just fine as well. Kitano also plays the title character, paying homage to the self-deprecating chuckle and bow-legged shuffle of original star Shintaro Katsu, while adding a few neat twists of his own. The samurai period trappings are unfamiliar turf for Kitano, but he navigates them with typical skill and wit, crafting a movie that is both exciting and stylish, with wonderfully charming bursts of humor where we least expect them. Also stars Tadanobu Asano and Michiyo Ogusu.
Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted.
This article appears in Sep 15-21, 2004.
