Short reviews of films showing throughout the Tampa Bay area.
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Australia: Land Beyond Time (PG) One of the most fascinating IMAX documentaries yet, this anything-but-dry history/science lesson unfolds sort of like an Animal Planet look at how life might have developed on another planet. That planet happens to be our own, of course, but when you're talking about Australia, expect the unexpected. The film takes us Down Under to the flattest, driest continent on earth, immerses us in parched, otherworldly landscapes and introduces us to tons of incredibly odd and supremely adaptable animals — from cute koalas and feisty dingoes, to an endless variety of bizarrely shaped lizards, to the amazing and little-understood kangaroo (a creature that can actually will her embryo into a state of suspended animation while she waits for the right moment for its birth). Animal lovers will want to pounce on this one. Opens June 28 at IMAX Dome Theater.
Bad Company (PG-13) More a failed genetic experiment than an actual motion picture, Bad Company is a pathetically clumsy attempt to graft not just two completely different genres, but two actors who should never have appeared in the same film. The wisp of a plot of this lazily scripted sub-generic spy movie — something about terrorists attempting to detonate a nuclear weapon in the U.S. — is really just an excuse to allow Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock to share screen time. Also stars Gabriel Macht and John Slattery. 
The Bourne Identity (PG-13) Circling around a theme from one of his recent movies, Matt Damon pulls a Talented Mr. Ripley here as a guy attempting to invent an identity for himself. The twist is that Damon's Bourne character doesn't know who he is; he's an amnesiac who also just happens to be a world-class fighter, linguist, escape artist — in fact, he pretty much possesses all the skills of a top-notch spy/sleuth/assassin. Complicating matters is the fact that, even as he tries to reclaim his memory, Damon's being hunted by the ultimate bad guys who appear to be his old bosses — our old pals, the CIA. Bourne Identity is basically an action movie, but it's an overly murky one that lacks a real sense of urgency or purpose. 
Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys (R) Smart and sensitively told tale of budding young rebels sweating it out at Catholic school, and learning about the world the hard way. Based on Chris Fuhrman's coming of age novel by the same title, Altar Boys doesn't get quite far enough under the skins of its teenage characters, but it manages to strike an almost consistently fine balance between sweet and sharp, emotionally charged and amusing. The film never quite transcends its sources, but, at its best, is an engaging dramedy with echoes of everything from Stand By Me to J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye.
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) Written and directed by Callie Khouri (Thelma and Louise), produced by Bonnie Bruckheimer (Beaches) and adapted from a couple of Rebecca Wells novels much cherished by a sizable, almost exclusively female audience, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood is a consummate chick flick, but not a particularly good movie. The essence of this energetic but overlong, rambling film has to do with a daughter's love-hate relationship with her mother — and, as with so many films that attempt to offer up what amounts to the lighter side of familial dysfunction, Ya-Ya can't quite seem to decide how it really feels about its subject. The movie spends the better part of two hours alternately skewering and romanticizing its central character — a self-centered, substance-abusing mother played as a young woman by Ashley Judd and as an aging matron by Ellen Burstyn — and then resolves all the complicated issues between the woman and her daughter in a final rush of unrepentant mush. 
Hey Arnold! The Movie (PG) The nice little kid with the big, football-shaped head from the Nickelodeon cartoon gets his very first feature-length movie — and with any luck, it'll be his last. Hey Arnold! The Movie is bland, lifeless stuff about a couple of kids playing spy games in order to save their neighborhood from being bulldozed to make way for a new megamall. A handful of characters are momentarily interesting — a monobrowed little girl whose hate for our hero is just as obsessive as her love and an evil developer who looks and sounds just like a young Ronald Reagan — but the movie is dull and cheaply drawn, with an animation style and narrative equally lacking in personality. Featuring the voices of Jennifer Jason Leigh, Christopher Lloyd and Paul Sorvino, believe it or not. Opens June 28 at local theaters.
The Importance of Being Earnest (PG) Oscar Wilde's signature piece was, in its day, the ultimate case of identity both mistaken and assumed, but the play is also the ultimate bauble — and frankly, it hasn't aged particularly well. The Importance of Being Earnest still contains some of the wittiest one-liners around — most of which survive in this latest film version — but the plot machinations just seem sillier and more convoluted with each passing decade. Director Oliver Parker (An Ideal Husband) does his best to goose things up with fantasy interludes and a sprinkling of modern flourishes, but most of it just seems overly coy and obviously transplanted.
Insomnia (R) Unlike Memento, the movie that unfolded in reverse and put director Christopher Nolan on the map, the filmmaker's new project propels its story forward in a relentlessly linear manner. Insomnia is one of the darker films you'll see this year, but it's also one of the brightest, with the movie taking place in Alaska during that time of year when the sun hovers in the sky for 24 hours a day. Al Pacino stars as a cop who makes some very bad decisions and then becomes so sleep-deprived that he is unable to tell when he's crossed the line from good guy to bad guy. Even at his most dislikable, Pacino's character is just a little too easy to like, and never quite makes the transformation from wise, folksy hero cop to the reptilian Anti-Serpico that would have made this a much creepier and more interesting movie. Also stars Hilary Swank, Robin Williams, Maura Tierney and Martin Donovan.
Juwanna Mann (PG-13) Dull-witted, low-brow comedy about a selfish, arrogant pro basketball star who gets suspended for his nasty ways, only to resurface in drag as a player in the women's league. Tootsie it ain't. Every move the film makes is telegraphed from a mile away, the plot holes are the size of Montana, the humor is mostly crude and stupid, and the obligatory love angle (our hero/heroine falls for a beautiful teammate) is as predictable and insipid as just about everything else about the movie. Only Tommy Davidson as a lovesick, silver-toothed rapper is worth watching. Also stars Miguel A. Nunez Jr, Vivica A. Fox, Kim Wayans and Kevin Pollak. 
Lilo and Stitch (PG) Another hit from the Disney team, although not quite out of the ballpark. Lilo and Stitch is basically a brightened-up, kid-friendly reinvention of the Frankenstein story, in which a manmade monster (or, in this case, alien-created critter) comes to grips with his own, um, uniqueness and, in the process, finds something not unlike a soul. Disney's extraterrestrial Frankenstein is Stitch, a big-eyed, genetically altered experiment who crash lands on earth and hooks up with a lonely little Hawaiian girl named Lilo. Disney keeps the cute stuff and the musical interludes to a minimum this time, and, even though neither Lilo nor Stitch ranks among the studio's most memorable characters, there's more than enough here to keep most viewers perfectly happy for the better part of 90 minutes. Featuring the voices of Tia Carrere, David Ogden Stiers, Kevin McDonald, Ving Rhames and Jason Scott Lee.
Minority Report (PG-13) The best movie of the summer, and one of the best movies of recent years, Steven Spielberg's sci-fi noir boasts a fascinating premise beautifully expanded into a provocative and consistently gripping feature-length film. Based on a story by Philip K. Dick, Minority Report takes place in a not-so-distant future where crimes are predicted and criminals arrested before they actually commit their offense. Tom Cruise plays the top cop who becomes the glitch in a perfect system when he finds himself falsely accused and on the run. Minority Report is an exciting movie and, dare I say it, an important movie, made timelier than ever in the preemptive political environment of today. Spielberg enriches this surprisingly dark project with all sorts of odd little flourishes (many of them echoes of the Kubrick-isms he toyed with in A.I.) and seems to be having a fine old time with the colorfully seedy neo-noir atmosphere. Although there's plenty of action, Minority Report is anything but an action movie; it's a smart, tough and tantalizing remapping of the familiar territory known as the crime thriller. The closest comparisons that come to mind are Blade Runner (also inspired by Philip K. Dick) and Chinatown — Spielberg's latest is right in that league. Also stars Colin Farrell, Samantha Morton and Max Von Sydow. 
My Big Fat Greek Wedding (PG) Nia Vardalos stars in this sweet-natured, sporadically amusing adaptation of her one-woman show about a plain Greek-American woman who transforms herself into a babe and hooks up with her Prince Charming — who, much to the chagrin of her loud and proud Greek family, turns out to be as WASP-y as they come. In all, Greek Wedding probably worked better on stage than on the big screen. Also stars John Corbett, Michael Constantine, Lainie Kazan and Andrea Martin.
Scooby Doo (PG) A big-screen experience pretty similar to watching an old Scooby Doo cartoon on TV, only longer. Outside a very small handful of semi-hip inside jokes (including a drug reference or two), the live action movie of Scooby Doo is a pretty bland affair, whose target audience consists of kids ages 3 to 7. Even older youngsters will begin to have problems with the predictable, middle-of-the-road nature of the movie — it's not competent enough to be taken at all seriously and not silly enough to have any actual camp appeal.
Sex Becomes Her: The True Life Story of Chi Chi LaRue (NR) On the set, behind the scenes and down memory lane with director, starmaker, storyteller and party girl drag queen Chi Chi LaRue (a.k.a. Larry Paciotti), the most famous name in gay pornography. Even at a brisk 66-minute running time (couldn't they have gone for 69?), this low-budget documentary packs more amusement, entertainment and, here it comes, raw sex than movies twice its length. Be forewarned that the film is filled with all manner of explicit and often outrageous sexual activity (fellatio in trees, group sex in swimming pools and a raging erection or three every couple of minutes), so consider this NR production a very hard X and don't even think about attending if you're easily shocked. On the other hand, for those who can deal, Sex Becomes Her is one of the best inside looks at the porn industry, gay or straight, that you're likely to get. Worth the price of admission all by its lonesome is a visit to the Gay Erotic Video Awards, where we witness an unforgettable production number called I Beat My Meat. This exclusive, one-time only screening/party is part of the Tampa Gay and Lesbian Film Festival's Some Like It Hot summer film series. The evening's festivities include music from DJ Jeffrey J. and a visit from none other than the fabulous Ms. LaRue herself, who will introduce the film and entertain questions from the audience. Plays one night only, July 3, 8 p.m. at Twilight, 1507 E. Seventh Ave., Ybor City, Tampa. Call 813-879-4220 for information
Space Station (PG) New IMAX featurette documenting a pair of voyages to the international space station floating high above planet Earth. The multinational crews include a mix of American astronauts and Russian cosmonauts. At IMAX Dome Theater.
(Not Reviewed)
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (G) An animated, all-American tale of freedom and bravery that's very nearly a kid-friendly remake of Little Big Man with Dustin Hoffman's role being taken by a talking horse. The movie's equine protagonist is actually far more heroic than Hoffman's chameleon-like survivor, but both characters wind up serving as virtual tour guides on a condensed history of the Old West by passing back and forth between the Native American and white man's civilizations that defined the era. 
Spider-Man (PG) Sam Raimi's big screen adaptation of Spider-Man is surprisingly faithful to Spidey's origins as an outsider superhero, even if the edges have been smoothed out a touch. The movie's first half lays the story out in a manner that has all the symmetry and primal oomph of modern myth, with Peter Parker spending most of the movie simply adjusting to his new powers (we don't even see Spidey in full costume until a full hour into the movie). Even though the second half of Spider-Man is infinitely more action-packed than the setup, the movie gives the distinct impression of slowing down as it progresses. The main reason the movie's second half suffers is due to the fundamental shift from characters to CGI-dominated action — and, frankly, some of the digital effects aren't quite up to the task. Also stars Kirsten Dunst and James Franco.
The Sum of All Fears (PG-13) An expertly crafted thriller that delivers a terrifyingly believable account of the doomsday scenario so many of us now consider inevitable — terrorists smuggle in a nuclear device and detonate it on U.S. soil. The Sum of All Fears will be a little too real for many. A nutty neo-Nazi plans to play the U.S. and Russia against each other, orchestrating attacks in each country for which the other will be blamed and consequently triggering Armageddon — causing the movie to play out a little like Dr. Strangelove redone as a Hollywood thriller.
Ultimate X (PG) Not your standard IMAX movie by a long shot, Ultimate X cops an attitude that's almost as edgy and irreverent as its subject matter — those Extreme Sports featured in ESPN's popular X Games, like BMX biking, skateboarding, street luge, wakeboarding, speed climbing and all other manner of daredevil events. The stunts and tricks are spectacular, and so are the wipeouts. Featured are skaters Tony Hawk, Bob Burnquist and Bucky Lasek, BMX stunt riders Ryan Nyquist and Cory Nasty Nastazio and Moto X rider Carey Hart. At Channelside IMAX. Call theater to confirm.
Undercover Brother (PG-13) Austin Powers meets Shaft in this blaxploitation/spy spoof about an Afro-sporting, platform-shoes-wearing crime fighter stuck in the Parliament-Funkadelic '70s. Stars Eddie Griffin, Chris Kattan and Denise Richards.
(Not Reviewed)
Unfaithful (R) A tale of marital deception that starts out as a fairly standard erotic thriller but becomes much more interesting in its later stages, when it tackles the aftermath of the affair. Diane Lane stars as a more-or-less happy suburban housewife who enters into a steamy affair with a sexy French bohemian (Olivier Martinez) who soon has her reading esoteric poetry, attending Jacques Tati film festivals and engaging in mildly kinky sex in public bathrooms. Lane (who's quite convincing as a woman both thrilled and repelled by what she's doing) and hubby Richard Gere sink gradually into an abyss of secrets and lies, with the movie's real strength being the unflinching detailing of that unhappy process.
Windtalkers (R) A different sort of film for John Woo, the Hong Kong action auteur who came to Hollywood and went on to break the bank with stylish mayhem like Mission: Impossible II. Woo's latest is a traditional, even old fashioned war movie, starring Nicolas Cage as brooding, traumatized marine charged with protecting a Navajo code talker during World War II. Cage excels at playing souls in pain, and he has some extraordinary moments here, but the movie only really comes alive at those times when his wound is at its most naked. Otherwise, Windtalkers is a fairly conventional tale of men in combat, with each scene of quiet reflection and manly camaraderie being inevitably followed by one of tremendous bombast and flying body parts. Adam Beach is particularly good as Cage's Navajo charge, and Christian Slater shows up as well, although he doesn't have much to do outside of smiling a lot and playing dueling receding hairlines with Cage. Also stars Roger Willie.
—Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted
This article appears in Jun 26 – Jul 2, 2002.