For years now and even more so with the advent of social media, a default phrase for people showing sympathy in times of trouble was to offer their “thoughts and prayers.” But in recent years, especially after the mass shootings that have become all too common, a backlash has begun against these once innocuous words, one that has grown all the stronger after the tragedy of the Parkland school shootings.
There are two dimensions to this backlash. First, there is a growing sense that words of sympathy are being spoken instead of taking action, which for many now means trying to bring about changes in gun laws. As Parkland teen survivor Emma Gonzalez declared, “If all our government and president can do is send thoughts and prayers, then it’s time for victims to be the change we need to be.”
The second dimension should be of more concern to people of faith: the suggestion that thoughts and prayers are intrinsically meaningless. As early as 2015 after the San Bernardino shootings, Emma Green of The Atlantic referred to the phenomenon of “prayer shaming” with some, particularly liberals, avoiding any mention of prayer and even ridiculing those who did mention prayer in their initial response to tragedy.
We asked some Tampa Bay spiritual leaders what they thought of the turn against thoughts and prayers, as well as what they thought the proper relationship between faith and action should be in light of the Parkland massacre. Here are their responses:
Rev. Anthony Russo, Creative Arts and Communication Pastor of First Baptist Church of Indian Rocks
In times of tragedy, people want answers. Why did this happen? Who is responsible? How do we stop it from happening again? Prayer does not offer any answers to the questions and is, more often than not, a question in and of itself. The Psalms are full of David crying out in despair when he can’t make sense of the world. Jesus cries out from the cross "My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46). Crying out to God in the groaning, guttural sense is a Christian’s most honest response in the face of suffering. It is a humble act that grounds us in the truth that there is so much we don’t understand, but we seek God because we know that God is good and that God loves us.
Prayer as a response to suffering should change us and, in turn, we must seek to create change. Jesus taught the disciples to pray, "…your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." As sincere as our prayer for relief in times of suffering should be our prayer to bring about the kingdom of heaven here on earth. Prayer is not an incorrect response from the Christian in the face of suffering, but it cannot be the only response.”
Kathy Rollock, Ecumenical Action Coordinator of Church Women United Florida
In the wake of this deadly school shooting in Parkland, politicians across the country have offered their response; prayers, moments of silence and promises for action. But what no one has offered? A clear plan for stopping these tragedies from happening. Let us make this the "last shooting."
Rev. Temple Hayes, Spiritual Leader of First Unity of St. Petersburg
I think one of the long-term issues of our culture is we continue to create duality rather than inclusion and solutions. Life is a both/and world. We can pray and hold comfort and loving thoughts for the families and for our nation and at the same time come from a place of action that it is time for children to no longer have to face their friends and teachers being murdered. We can say enough and engage in spiritual activism while praying for a world where children can go to school and think about simple things again like summer plans or liking some friends better than others — whether to play football or basketball. These are the things that children should think about not could someone come and kill us today. We can no longer show children we are doing something impactful; they must see it.
Rev. Libby Shannon, Director, Office for Advocacy and Gender Justice and Associate Chaplain of Wireman Chapel, Eckerd College
It seems to me that the primary backlash against "thoughts and prayers" is that so often it exists in place of actions and policy changes. I don't believe our culture is opposed to offering our thoughts and prayers to those who have suffered. However, in the wake of yet another school shooting and yet another communal experience of violence and trauma folks are as aware as ever that thoughts and prayers simply don't stop bullets. When our thoughts and prayers are lived with our feet, our legislation, our votes then it will seem far less like just another disingenuous press release and more like a genuine effort toward changing our culture.
Rev. Andy Oliver, Pastor at Allendale United Methodist Church of St. Petersburg
Invoking "thoughts and prayers" can become a copout. Whenever tragedy strikes if the only response doesn’t lead to action than we are not engaging in the most faithful way. Prayer should always lead to action. The purpose of prayer is to lead to faithful action and to move you to share the heart of God. Part of that is listening to what we are called to do and politics is part of our life together.”
Rabbi Michael Torop, Rabbi at Temple Beth-El in St. Petersburg
I think that the essence of this issue is both the sincerity of the message being communicated and whether or not those who offer these words are also engaged in work that will help to bring about change so that these tragedies do not continue to happen. In the Jewish tradition, we are taught that sometimes when there is nothing to say, the best thing to do is to say nothing. Aaron is a model for this, as the text describes his response to the death of two of his sons with the words: "And Aaron was silent." (Lev 10:3). This is a time when we do not need cliches, but to make meaningful connections and build relationships between individuals and communities. The goal is simple: (quoting Gandhi) "We must be the change we wish to see in the world."
Amy Katsouris writes about spirituality for Creative Loafing Tampa.
This article appears in Feb 22 – Mar 1, 2018.