My name is Bryan Childs. By day, I’m a married man with two dogs living in the heart of the Old Southeast in St. Pete. By night, I’m the owner of ninebullets.net and host of Ninebullets Radio on WMNF in Tampa. My music festival qualifications include: two Antiwarpts, countless Tropical Heatwaves, three Deep Blues Music Festivals, two Suburban Home Records Anniversary Weekends and two South by Southwest Music Conferences. Some were complete victories while the others were, if nothing else, spectacular in their failure. With this guide to surviving a daylong festival, I hope to increase your odds of making Antiwarpt III a smashing success. Should you crash and burn, please tweet me the pics: @autopsy4.
Take a lay of the land. This seems obvious but it’s also essential. I know most Tampa residents treat the Howard Frankland like the Trail of Tears, so this one applies doubly for you. Ten venues spread across downtown St. Petersburg. Do you know which venues they are? Do you know where they are? Do you know how far apart they are? St. Pete is pretty simple to figure out. Each block is one-tenth of a mile. Most of the Antiwarpt venues are located on the 600 block, which makes it easier, but a trip from Fubar to Café Bohemia is almost a half-mile walk. Something to keep in mind as the night wears on and the drinks pile up.
Be prepared. With 100 bands on the bill, it’s critical to make a list of the ones you wanna see most, where they’re playing, and at what time. SXSW vets normally create a spreadsheet so they can easily spot conflicts. Personally, I like to find two bands I wanna see for every available time slot. That way, if a venue is too far away, too full or just has bad sound, I’ve already got plan B on tap.
Pace yourself. Antiwarpt starts at 3 p.m. and stretches over 12 hours. There’s no need to pre-game. Being drunk at 4:30 in the afternoon ensures that you’ll end up being “that guy” by 10 p.m. Water isn’t poison, so stay hydrated and don’t forget to eat some dinner, too.
Be comfortable. Look, I’m married to a hair stylist. I see fashion-over-function on a daily basis and understand it has its place. An all-day music festival isn’t it. Comfortable shoes beat blisters every time you have to walk to a new venue, so scrap the heels for your favorite pair of flats.
You bought the ticket, so take the ride. All my other suggestions have been about making the day easier on you. This one’s about remembering to experience it. A hundred bands are landing in your city, you probably haven’t heard most of them, and they’re all gonna get their 40 minutes to shine. There’s a good chance you’ll never be surrounded by this much music again (until Antiwarpt IV), so soak it up. Make a point to catch a band just because their name sounds cool. If you’re en route to State Theatre and the sounds coming out of The Local catch your ear, go check it out. I tend to miss the first two songs of every show I wanna see and use that time to explore what’s playing in the spaces around my destination. The point is, your new favorite band might be performing on one of these stages. So go find them.
And there you go. You can take my advice or not, but trust me on the no pre-gaming. “That guy” is never a good look.
