It’s not even the first of October yet, and already the universe is working diligently in an effort to ruin my Halloween.

First, our DVR died, taking with it an uncut, commercial-free version of my wife’s favorite cult horror movie, Motel Hell. (If anybody out there knows where to get a DVD copy, hit me up.) Then, I was assaulted by the massive promotional campaign for Let Me In, the American remake of the immaculate 2008 Swedish vampire film Let The Right One In — a cinematic travesty that inspires in me the kind of outrage other movie nuts might feel over news of an update of Citizen Kane. Next came a trip to a local retailer to shop for props for our Halloween party; we were disappointed and depressed at this year’s scant, limited and uninspired array of holiday offerings.

But the biggest hint that we might not be in for the craziest, most fun and interesting Halloween ever came in the form of the now-ubiquitous commercial touting this year's Busch Gardens Howl-O-Scream theme, which appears to be about some irate rocker chick who exacts her revenge on the dudes who done her wrong by cutting off their fingers with guitar strings and storing them in crack vials.

This article appears in Sep 23-29, 2010.