Cards for the Death: Knight of Cups, Five of Pentacles (both reversed)
Cards for the Aftermath: Ten of Pentacles, Waning gibbous, Page of Swords (reversed)
Dear Worried, I cannot and will not tell you if your fiancé will die young for a couple of reasons. First, ethically speaking, I believe a tarot reader should act in the client’s best interest and “harm none.” Unless I had a very detailed premonition about the moment of his death—and a deep understanding of how fate works—there’s nothing I can offer you beyond a guess, which would be cruel and irresponsible of me and stressful to you.
I don’t have a premonition. I don’t know how fate works. I can’t answer that question. And even if I could…I wouldn’t use a tarot deck to confirm. It’s not the right tool for the job. If you want a “yes or no” answer, you’re better off using a pendulum and a spirit board.
However, I did ask the cards a question of how you’ll deal with and process your fiancé’s death, whenever that may be.
When you lose your husband, it will feel like the world will stop. You are right to think that grief will be profound. But, he is, and forever will be, your Knight of Cups, the charming, romantic champion of your love. This is a true love match; when it ends, you will feel like winter has laid rest in your heart. The Five of Pentacles can make you feel isolated, with a hunger inside you for warmth and companionship.
But even winter, with her cold brutality, will end. Life, inexplicably, will go on.
With the Ten of Pentacles being a legacy card, I believe you’ll be able to grieve and process with your family. That unit may be the family you currently have or include children from the marriage. (Ideally, middle-aged adult children born from a marriage that lasted for 50-plus years.) This unit will help you move through your grief and help guide you on your next transition.
When a chapter of our life ends, we are often forced to reevaluate our lives and re-prioritize. With the Waning Gibbous here, the reevaluation will come when you work through your grieving process. Maybe you’ll downsize your home and move closer to your grandchildren. Perhaps you’ll go in for that MFA. Who knows.
But you know you’ll survive this. The Page of Swords is an intellectual, meaning you’ll know in your head what you need to do to get through that harsh winter. But he is also a bringer of freedom, and in this case, I think it means (eventual) release from your grief. But I hope that that grief is a long, long way off.
I hope you have a long, happy marriage and a wonderful life with your beloved.
Dear Oracle, over the past few years, I’ve had a strained relationship with a family member. While we never had a close relationship, I called and texted throughout the pandemic and never really heard back. The last time I heard from them was a year ago when they sent an angry text. Should I reach out again and rekindle this relationship?—Family Feud
Cards: Knight of Wands, Ten of Swords, Nine of Pentacles
Dear Feud, it’s difficult to give you a definitive answer because I don’t know the reasons why you want to or the reasons why your family member stopped taking your calls, only to send an angry text. I will, however, answer this question under the assumption that the family member’s anger has more to do with lower stake events rather than something serious (like abuse.)
With you being the passionate Knight of Wands, I understand wanting to rekindle things. Wands feel things deeply, but they’re also a suit of action. You want to correct the wrong and imbalance; you want to rekindle the relationship so it burns with the flame of family!
But a relationship is two-sided, and with that Ten of Swords, I wonder if your family member feels betrayed. (The Ten of Swords is often depicted as a dude literally stabbed in the back 10 times.) If you do reach out, you need to do so with kid gloves. Your family member probably feels wronged—hence the angry text—and might feel like you rejected them even though you’ve been the one calling.
There is always some element of hope/fear to the Nines in Tarot, and the Nine of Pentacles is no exception. There is hope that this reconciliation will go well, but that’s based more on desire than fact. The Nine of Pentacles is about cultivating and emotions; in this instance, remember that you can’t control other people’s feelings, but you can control how you respond to them. I know that’s a therapy cliché, but it’s true.
I would also caution you to have very realistic expectations about this. Your family member might not want to rekindle, and you’ll have to respect that. Or they’ll rekindle, and the relationship might be prickly.
If you feel that reaching out is the only way to do right by you and your family member, reach out—with limited expectations. If you think reaching out will cause them pain, don’t. As the Knight of Wands, you know what needs to be done, and sometimes letting people go is the kindness that’s required.
I’m sorry for this sticky situation. I hope for the best for both of you.
This article appears in Nov 10-16, 2022.