Oracle of Ybor: I’ve been experiencing anhedonia lately

Dear Oracle,

I’ve been experiencing anhedonia lately. What can I do to move through it?—Winter in Spring

Cards: Full Moon, Six of Wands (reversed), Three of Cups, Queen of Swords

Dear Winter,

A confession: I’d never seen the word “anhedonia” until you wrote it. Looking it up, I saw that it is the mirror of “hedonism,” a lack of pleasure in life and a lack of desire to even look for it, possibly believing that searching for joy is a pointless pastime.

I also saw that it’s used in psychiatry to determine the level of depressive episodes. As someone with a history of depression, including major depressive episodes, I know how serious they can be, and if you believe you’re in a depressive episode, I want to strongly encourage you to seek out professional treatment with some sort of counselor and, if need be, a psychiatrist. While I know that Tarot can be healing, I believe it works best as only one part of a multi-pronged approach for treating mental illness.

However, if you are feeling more of a general malaise, as opposed to a diagnosable depressive episode, I think the cards may shine some light.

With the Full Moon as the first card, this issue is pretty urgent. It does need to be addressed—right now—or it could metastasize into something like a full-blown depressive episode. The Full Moon is also a card of action, meaning that it’s not enough to just consider how things are but some steps must be taken.

With the Six of Wands reversed, I would guess that you can’t see the victories in your life right now. That’s not to say that you aren’t “being grateful for what you have”; rather, you might be being hard on yourself. Are there things you’ve accomplished lately that you could take joy in? The Six comes after a war, which suggests that you have fought hard for something. Can you recognize and respect your own effort?

The Three of Cups can be our friends or our community. Has this anhedonia isolated you from them? Could reaching out and leaning on them be a way to slowly inch out of this malaise? Do you think your friends or community might validate you for a job well done or congratulate you on whatever you’ve conquered?

The last card we have is the Queen of Swords. While she can turn that critical eye onto herself, she is also a survivor. She got to sit on that throne and clutch that sword through sheer determination alone. I think it might help to look at your situation critically but not judgmentally. What have you done that absolutely deserves praise? Will you allow yourself to hear it? Can you see areas where you might need to be picked up by friends? Will you allow them to?

Compassion is necessary, my love, for ourselves and our situations. Hopefully, it can help you navigate out of this place.

Editor’s note: If you are feeling suicidal or in emotional distress please call or text the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or reach out through chat by visiting 988lifeline.org/chat. Veterans can call 988 and press 1.

Dear Oracle,

I’ve recorded an EP, and it includes what I consider to be the best song I’ve ever written. The problem? The song is a love song about a friend—who doesn’t know about my feelings for her. I’m worried that it’s way too creepy to release and that she’ll figure out it’s about her and will never speak to me again. Any advice?—(Am) I a Creep, (am) I a weirdo?

Cards: King of Wands, Four of Cups (reversed), Eight of Swords.

Dear Creep,

I’m one of those assholes that believes everything is copy. Having writer friends (and exes), I’ve seen my likeness both exalted and trashed. In turn, I’ve cribbed parts of old love letters, stolen secondhand antidotes, and magpie’d every weird idiom or turn of phrase I’ve ever heard. To be an artist is to be a cannibal.

The flip side is, of course, that whoever you wrote about will see the work. No matter how unlikely, they will. It’s the Karmic balance.

I suspect you know this. As the creative and generative King of Wands, you’ve probably mined plenty of parts of your life for your art. For this situation specifically, though, you do feel trapped. The Four of Cups is a questioning, murky point in a relationship and that Eight of Swords makes you feel fenced in.

But, as always, Eight of Swords is just an illusion. You’re only boxing yourself in. The Four of Cups can ask us to work towards a breakthrough in a relationship, which in this case…means you might need to confess your feelings.

I know. I know.

You could do it as a preamble and send her the song. You could send her the song and see if she figures it out. You could confess and mention the song but not actually send it to her—which, personally, I think is bad form. (If they’re good enough to end up in your work, they’re good enough to view it.)

Is it possible that she won’t return your feelings? Yes. Will she find the song creepy and never speak to you again? Maybe. Will she feel delighted and confess her love, too? Also maybe.

Whatever happens, for your heart and your art, you should be honest. Then, at least, you’ll have your answer and can release the song with a clear conscience.

But, even if she doesn’t return your feelings, I don’t think it’s creepy to release a love song about someone. All art, I believe, is a ménage à trois between creator, artwork, and viewer. That experience is greater than the sum of its parts. It’s why people can find great work edifying even if the artist is a piece of shit in their personal life. It’s why we can read love poems inspired by long-dead lovers and still feel moved. Once those feelings go through the alchemic process, they become something more. So go on. Confess your love and release your song. Whatever happens, you’ll survive (and probably have fodder for another song.)

Subscribe to Creative Loafing newsletters.

Follow us: Google News | NewsBreak | Reddit | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter