Politically Androgynous

By Chris Ingram

I was off last week (and thus I.V. was on hiatus) for spring break with my kids. We rented an RV and went to Manatee Springs State Park near Chiefland. The park was beautiful and it was like taking a step back in time with peace and tranquility. We were fortunate enough to be there on the weekend of an annual Florida folk band’s concert at the park. It was delightful to hear the folk songs recounting Florida’s history.  After three nights we went to Little Talbot Island State Park on the beach in Jacksonville for three nights. It was also a nice park, but the wind was kicking up at the beach and the waves from the surf made dipping into the water too difficult for my three girls ages six and (twins) three. But the view from our campsite overlooking a river on the marsh made up for it.  We then spent two days at Disney’s Fort Wilderness.  The kids loved it as it was, well, Disney. Roasting ‘smores with characters “Chip” and “Dale” was a highlight and the “Hoop Dee-Doo Review” show was also a hit. Everything was nice and clean, but we might as well have been “camping” in the parking lot at International Mall as Disney’s idea of a campsite is not quite the same as the Florida Park systems’.

It was nice being with family and all but ignoring the goings-on in politics. And there certainly was a lot going on. Charlie “for whomever my pollster tells me to be for” Crist vetoed SB6 (which was good), and speculation ran rampant that he will abandon the G.O.P. and run with no party affiliation.

It stunk to be Marco Rubio last week because despite being an empty suit Chuckles the Clown has broad appeal among the majority of morons who make up our electorate. They see his veto as standing up to the party bosses. They fail to see it is just Charlie being Charlie — wind testing the electorate. I’ll bet if you asked Charlie Crist “what are three things wrong with SB6?” he couldn’t do it. He’s a shallow guy who knows next to nothing — other than how to read what “the people” want.

Apparently what” the people” Charlie is always talking about want is big government, entitlements, handouts, bailouts, freebies, credits, vouchers, rebates and other largesse — so long as the next generation (not the current one) gets the bill. I think they must also want a bunch of double-talking, double-dipping, spineless, lying, no good, twelve-sandwich eating, credit card charging, shameless, unaccountable, irresponsible, stooges in elective office. You know, the type who think it’s completely fine to charge personal expenses to the Republican Party and only own up to it when their hand gets caught in the cookie jar (think Rubio, Atwater, Bense – the kind of guys who make Jeff Kottkamp look honest).

Thanks, but no thanks, I’ll take a dose of medicine from someone willing to stand up and give us what we need, not what we want.

Charlie Crist has demonstrated himself to be politically androgynous. Is he a Republican or something else? For that matter, was he ever a Republican? I think he’s probably always been something else.  And just what does Charlie Crist believe in (other than Charlie Crist)? And while Chuck the Tan-man’s signature isn’t on any RPOF credit card receipts, he’s certainly not innocent of wrong-doing, or at least failing to step up to the plate and right a wrong (Jim Greer). So don’t start looking at Charlie Crist like he’s some Boy Scout worthy of your sympathy because every Republican criminal in the Florida legislature (save the hopelessly gross Mike Fassano) is bashing him.

And it gets even better with all these lackeys like former Sen. Connie Mack who supported Chuckie with blinders for years, suddenly see the HMS Charlie Crist sinking, decide to jump off his ship for bogus reasons  — because Charlie vetoed SB6. Okay Connie, let me get this straight, so it’s okay for Chuckles to man-hug Obama and embrace his adding $787 billion to the federal debt, but you manage to have some principled outrage and draw the line at him vetoing SB6 – which was a bad bill written by some old goat who hasn’t set foot in a classroom since 1837? Give us all a break!  You Senator Mack are a bigger clown than Charlie – and that takes some effort.

The ultimate irony of the whole situation is Charlie, Greer, and the establishment of the Republican Party in Florida and Washington, helped to create the current mess Republicans in Florida find themselves in. And the whole situation could have easily been avoided if they had not tried to influence the election between Crist and Rubio with Greer’s heavy-handed Tony Soprano tactics. But alas, politicians are opportunists who live for the moment. They have tunnel vision and they’re stupid. That’s why our state and our country are in such a mess.

Charlie Crist made his bed. But instead of lying in it, he’s hopping into another bed. It’s really more like a pull-out couch – a little less comfortable, but a bed no less. Chuckles figures if he can endure sleeping on this guest bed with its uncomfortable bar down the middle for a few months, he’ll get a lofty King sized bed with a down comforter in Washington, D.C.

Marco Rubio meanwhile would like to think that King sized bed is for him. And if you don’t believe him, just ask to see his RPOF Amex statement. He likes livin’ large too. So long as it’s other people’s money.

Chris Ingram is the president and founder of 411 Communications a corporate and political communications firm, and publisher of www.IrreverentView.com. Ingram is a frequent pundit on Fox News and CNN, and has written opinion columns for the Washington Times, UPI, Front Page Florida, and National Review online. E-mail him at: Chris@IrreverentView.com.

This article appears in Apr 21-27, 2010.