The great thing about politics is the way they can bring kinetic power to any conversation yet still make you want to kill yourself without leaving you the energy to actually do so.
Legendary philanderer and potential first First Man Bill Clinton stumped for his wife in Safety Harbor last night. Raise your hand if you couldn't help but imagine him looking in a mirror once the event was over, saying "still got it," and giving himself a couple of celebratory finger guns.
Sarasota commuters freaked when they saw "hundreds" of banded water snakes slithering out onto Palmer Boulevard in an effort to warm up amid the first real autumn temperatures of the season. You know what looks like hundreds of snakes to people who get freaked out by snakes? Like, eight snakes.
Pinellas authorities are investigating more claims of gas station skimming than ever, and suspect a new method that allows thieves to download skimmed information wirelessly over Bluetooth from an inconspicuous distance. Kudos to the criminals for finding an innovative and lucrative way to make Bluetooth EVEN MORE INFURIATING.
And finally, try not to do a spit-take in surprise, but bought-and-paid-for Floridian Republican politician Marco Rubio is among those still publicly backing Donald Trump despite The Orange Menace's casually hilarious advocacy of sexual assault. I guess once you've committed yourself to exploiting the largest American mass shooting in modern history for political gain, playing the devil's own wingman ain't much more than the usual Friday night out.
