The lack of a pithy intro to today's Sh*t Happened is brought you by poor time management and abject ambivalence.
The Federal Reserve said it would be raising a key interest rate as a reaction to signs of an improving American economy. Suck it, people who've been barely getting by having to charge something every month that their income won't cover, and will no longer be able to make their card payments. I'm sure they're just happy to know the economy's been fixed. (It hasn't.)
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is giving neighborhoods that have had to pass "bear ordinances" extra funds to purchase more secure garbage cans, saying that unsecured garbage is the number one thing that attracts bears to populated areas. Oh, and everybody just suddenly stopped throwing their garbage in the general direction of the alley the trash can is in like filthy gross wasteful cretins, too, so the timing is perfect.
The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus appointed its first female ringmaster in the company's 146-year history. Progressive! Nice to see them moving up from being a century behind the times to being merely a generation behind the times.
And finally, remember that Tuesday-night fire at the Cordova apartments in Tampa that displaced two dozen families? Yeah, it started because someone was making french fries on the stove and walked away from the hot grease for a minute. Never turn your back on the hot grease, man.
This article appears in Dec 15-22, 2016.