Good morning! Have your allergies killed you yet? Me too. Be strong, little warrior.
FRIDAY, MARCH 25:
Tampa Bay posted unemployment numbers below both the state and national average. We gots more Statue of Liberty instant tax return sign flippers than anybody!
The University of Florida gave football coach Jim McElwain a $750K raise for winning the SEC East Division during his first year, making him the highest paid coach in the division at $4.25 million per year. Meanwhile, a little girl who hopes to be an engineer someday just had to eat her own toes to not die. Everything is humming along nicely.
A gang from Orlando stole eight cars from a Tampa sales lot. I don't see anybody resembling Nic Cage or Angelina Jolie in the video, do you?
SATURDAY, MARCH 26:
Tampa Pride returned for its second year after being banished for a while by the Ronda Storms administration, and it looked great despite the heat and humidity. Honestly, if you're like North Carolina and all worried about the ramifications of people accepting and celebrating their identities, you're basically a haunted fossil. Leave the planet, please.
A 19-year-old security guard shot and killed a 15-year-old kid in Lakeland after the kid shot the guard in the face with a very real-looking pellet gun. Looking for a senseless, tragic situation in which nobody wins? Here you go.
SUNDAY, MARCH 27:
And finally, here's an encore in senseless/tragic/nobody wins category: a driver fleeing a Clearwater traffic stop crashed the car and suffered life-threatening injuries. This capped off a weekend that saw several fatal hit-and-run accidents. It's time to try something else. Like, for real.
