The most important thing to remember is that it can always get weirder.
A St. Pete couple who live on Boca Ciega Bay claim their little dog was attacked and killed by otters on Easter Sunday. "I don't believe it, it just seems extremely unlikely given everything I know about otters," said somebody whose only experience with otters literally amounts to watching Facebook videos during work hours.
Hey, remember that Largo hydroponic gardening store owner who said he was gonna give his business away to the winner of an essay contest? Yeah, not so much. That marketing gimmick that worked so well for a charming Vermont b-and-b just didn't have the same attraction for a business whose primary patron is someone who walks out without buying anything after discovering how expensive and complex growing weed in their closet would be.
A Pasco County couple was arrested for selling their own streaming-TV devices via a Hudson storefront and online ads promising every movie and TV show ever made, as well as live sporting events, including "every single NFL game live," — which, c'mon, the NFL would have a six-year-old arrested for having a game on in the background during their birthday party without permission, so you know something's up right there. If it sounds to good to be true, keep it in your pants — and that applies to both your wallet and your genitals, people.
And finally, two Clearwater cops went below and beyond, descending into the city's drainage system to rescue some trapped ducklings. That they did so without an otter spotter makes the feat that much more heroic. The way things are going, we'll all need an otter spotter with us just to go fishing, or to cross a large parking lot after a powerful summer downpour. #otterspotter
This article appears in Mar 29 – Apr 5, 2018.