Time to wave bye-bye to this week like a kid in a carseat who doesn't even know where she's going, she just knows she's leaving whatever the hell that was behind.
A couple in Port Richey trying to get pregnant via artificial insemination is upset that the Pasco County Sheriff's Office felt the need to share on social media, albeit anonymously, their call to the cops about maybe having accidentally turned a container of frozen sperm into an explosive device. Well, upset enough to bitch about it to a media outlet with a reach far greater than the PCSO Facebook page, anyway. Oh, the irony.
A new economic impact forecast commissioned by the 'Burg estimates that the new St. Pete pier will bring in $80 million in revenue for the city in its first year after completion, paying for itself immediately. But the investigative crew over at Tampa Bay's WTSP had some serious questions about its projections, and found the rosy numbers to be a bit, shall we say, specious. Which makes sense, because — and you can write this on a note and stick it to the fridge to remind yourself — whether it's a pier or a stadium or a shopping mall, all predictive economic impact reports commissioned by invested parties are bullshit. Now, we're not saying we think the pier will be bad for the city. That's not what we're saying. We're just saying that ALL PREDICTIVE ECONOMIC IMPACT REPORTS COMMISSIONED BY INVESTED PARTIES ARE BULLSHIT. Learn it, know it, live it.
And finally, nothing says "now we're an official big-time Florida city' quite like a body washing up on one of your nicest beaches. It's the America's Wang version of Willard Scott flying in to broadcast live from the festival that celebrates whatever your particular community grows or makes the most of, really.
This article appears in May 18-25, 2017.