It's hot, and it's Tuesday. These are not two great things that taste great together. Let's peruse yesterday's headlines, then blow off everything else and just go get us some free Slurpees.
So Monday evening's St. Pete mayoral debate, the first to feature a majority of the candidates, was not exactly the picture of civility and measured discussion. The sun did not shine on seamless interaction between certain candidates' supporters, is what we mean to say.
More than 60 guns, including both rifles and handguns, were stolen from a Polk County gunsmith's home over the weekend. Meanwhile, nobody's ever gone on a crime spree with the set of mint-condition Star Wars trading cards filched from the Peabodys' kid's room while they were on vacation.
Speaking of late-breaking weekend crime news, a woman crashed a Ruskin wedding and made off with most of the gifts — but not before signing the guest book and posing for a photo. She's either crazy stupid, or things are gonna get real interesting when someone sees the picture and goes "oh, that's my friend's daughter Sarah, she died in 1983." Time-traveling wedding-crasher thief? WHAT DID SHE CHANGE ABOUT THE FUTURE?!
And finally, we'll stick with this category and introduce you to a Sarasota woman who, after being stopped for driving down the street in reverse, was found to be in possession of pot, coke, hash, Dilaudid and Xanax. Remember that, kids: The ability to remain chill and keep a low profile always decreases in inverse proportion to the number of drugs interacting in your system. It's science!
This article appears in Jul 6-13, 2017.