Dr. Kanika Tomalin is St. Petersburg's Deputy Mayor and a leader in the city's efforts to lift local businesses and then find a way to safely reopen. Read our Q&A below.
How have the last five or six weeks changed you as a parent?
Living through the challenges of social distancing and other restrictions related to the coronavirus is the most significant transition my children and I have had to make since suddenly losing my husband, their father, four years ago. It’s the first major threat from which I’ve had to protect them as a single parent. My son had to return home from college with only a few day’s notice and my daughter left her high school for spring break, unknowingly walking into the end of her sophomore year. Both had plans for the end of school and summer that slipped away overnight. I’m proud of the way they’ve rolled with the unexpected.
Editor’s note: This portrait is part of Sandra Döhnert Bourne’s “I Miss Us, St. Pete: A social distance photo essay from afar.” Get links the the full photo essay and more Q&As here.
They are resisting the urge to feel frustrated, dismissing disappointment—and are instead focused on how they can help others who are burdened with severe impacts and challenges. And, I’m proud that I am prepared to fearlessly lead my family through this uncertain time, stepping up to the challenges that unfold every day with confidence and strength. This newfound resilience is hard-earned and borne of serious trials, but those dark days of the past have grown me into a better mom than I’ve ever been.
If your kids are school-aged and have to e-learn—how’s it going? Any tips or questions about being more effective homeschool parents?
My children are wrapping up freshman year in college and sophomore year in high school. They attend competitive, high-performance schools that have maintained unflinching expectations for their academic performance. Although both schools have offered amazing support, the initial transition was tough. But we created a routine and structure helps them stick to a plan that moves them successfully through their days. They wake at the same time every morning, work from a designated space, keep set schedules and review what they've accomplished when I get home. These standards help them self-assess and have made a huge difference in their performance. They are wrapping up their final weeks of school and are happy with what they’ve been able to accomplish.
How are you talking to your kids about the coronavirus?
In my position as Deputy Mayor of St. Pete I am working nonstop to help our city navigate this public health crisis. I’m talking to my kids about this work in the same frame we discuss any of the disasters or disruptions that threaten our city. We discuss what it is, why our response is so critical, and how it impacts life for vulnerable people in our city. My son is studying global security and foreign policy so we’ve spent significant time discussing the geopolitical implications of coronavirus and its subsequent impact on everything from the economy to diplomatic relations.
What do you miss the most from the “before” time?
We most miss being out and about in our beautiful city! St. Pete is such a vibrant and inclusive community, filled with so many adventures and discoveries. We can’t wait to get back into all of it again.
Did you pick up any new good habits or practices that you hope to carry into the post-coronavirus world we’re about to enter?
I’ve become particularly mindful about meals. Preparing more meals at home and going to the grocery store less has forced me to commit to intentional planning for every trip. We talk about what we’d like to eat for all three meals, over the course of at least a week, paying attention to every detail and ingredient. The result: delicious meals that are healthy, fun to create and even more exciting to enjoy. It’s the one new addition to my life that I’m most passionately driven to keep up.
Is there any silver lining to being quarantined?
This unprecedented time at home with both my children is the amazing benefit of this trying time. Social distancing has brought my family together in ways we would probably have never elected on our own. We are spending uninterrupted, special quality time together and getting to know each other in ways that we’ll treasure for the rest of our lives.
What worries you the most about our lives going forward?
I hope that we are able to re-acclimatize in a way that is sustainable and does not require repeat disruption and distancing requirements in the near future. It is important that we find a balance that provides for optimal public health while allowing for the full embrace of the freedoms and experiences that define quality of life. Fortunately, this is not left to luck or chance. Our responsible choices and leaderful decisions will have a huge influence on our community’s ability to successfully navigate a full return to life as we knew it in the pre-COVID world.
Do you have a message for kids, parents in the greater Tampa Bay area?
Stay strong! We can do this. Ours is a resilient community that is defined by beautiful people who make our world better by taking great care of each other. Our love for each other and this beautiful piece of paradise that we call home will carry us forward. It won’t be easy, but we will make it through. Social distancing forces us to be separate, but we are never apart.
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This article appears in Apr 30 – May 6, 2020.