It's a little town in St. Johns County about 15 miles southwest of St. Augustine, rural and poor, but Hastings takes care of its own, whether they can pay or not, and they do such a good job that grants to the clinic have come pretty easily. Patients rave about it, even those who can afford to go elsewhere. Most important, they treat uninsured walk-ins (or carried-ins) at an average cost of $400 (versus $1,000 at St. Augustine's closest ER). "There's no reason why this same clinic can't be replicated in Jacksonville, Miami, or Tampa," said a professor at Flagler College. [Florida Times-Union]

The Problem with Kids Is the Grownups Parents of two of the four teenagers who police say confessed to a vicious street-beating (and the videoing thereof) of a man in Lauderhill last month expressed their irritation that people were making such a fuss over their poor dears. "He's not a murderer; he's not a rapist. So why is everyone so concerned?" asked the woman who raised one of the little darlings. The father (and, of course, father-figure) of the kid who did the videoing wanted to make it very clear that his kid didn't do anything wrong because he was just operating a camera, for heaven's sake. [Miami Herald]

"The Most Important Legislation This County Has Seen in 50 Years" That was Miami-Dade mayor Carlos Alvarez yesterday, reveling in the outcome of a ballot initiative that invigorated his previously-largely-ceremonial office with tough powers, supposedly to combat the lethargy and cronyism of the county council. Alas, as democracy goes these days, this "most important legislation" was unendorsed by 92 of every 100 adults in Miami-Dade (i.e., 14 percent turnout, 57 percent approval). [Miami Herald]

Your Daily Loser According to police in Fort Lauderdale, Frank John, 41, ran a red light and hit a bicyclist, who wasn't hurt but was really cheesed off that his bike was damaged and was itching to fight John. A witness happened by and got out of his truck to intervene, whereupon John jumped in the truck, but the  witness pulled him out, though not before John bit a chunk out of his arm. Then the witness chased John up in tree, where he decided that he was just not coming down, even after police arrived. Finally, a Taser persuaded him. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]

More Things To Worry About Today A woman cleaning out her deceased parents' storage locker in Delray Beach found a nicely preserved, mummified baby body from about 1950, in a suitcase (and of course, it's perhaps a sibling) [Palm Beach Post] . . . . . A NASCAR champ, Martin Truex Jr., was picked up by Daytona Beach police after being spotted peeing on a car [WKMG-TV (Orlando)] . . . . . The primo strip joint Club Rollexx ("Thug Miami's Empire State Building") is being sued by the wristwatch people [Miami New Times] . . . . . 26-yr-old Jason Taylor, who armed-robbed parishioners at St. Anthony's Catholic Church in Fort Lauderdale in 2004, was sentenced to, well, life in prison, even though he and his buddy cleared only $25 that day [WKMG-TV (Orlando)] . . . . . The city of Pensacola settled (paying $35k) a 2003 lawsuit by the then-16-yr-old girl who was forced by Officer Shawn Shields (long since fired) to take off her top and do jumping jacks to avoid getting a ticket [Pensacola News Herald] . . . . . San Francisco police said they used some advanced forensics to finally get evidence against 8 nearly-crotchety Black Liberation Army guys from 35 yrs ago, including Harold Taylor of Pensacola (now charged with murder and conspiracy from the days when BLA was busy offin' the honky pigs) [Associated Press via Gainesville Sun] . . . . . A fairly mutilated goat was found near Crestview, and police did an actual rape kit and found semen, and the goat's owner said he doesn't have any billy goats, so I guess we know what that means [Northwest Florida Daily News] . . . . . And finally, hopeful news: The startup Terror-Free Oil Initiative, of Coral Springs, will soon open its first station selling only petroleum with nary a cootie from any terrorist-supporting nation, in Omaha, Neb. [KETV (Omaha)].

This article appears in Jan 24-30, 2007.