Music Menu
Medeski Martin & Wood Are they hippies? Are they jazzbos? Who cares? Their combination of jaw-dropping ability and organic groove is what matters. MM&W telepathically weave together John Medeski's free-roaming work on a cache of analog keyboards, Andrew Wood's in-the-pocket work on acoustic and electric bass, and the limber and funky drumming of Billy Martin.…
Do Nothing, Lose Weight With NoFlex®
Shhhhh, let's go behind the scenes with fitness guru Buzz Abernathy as he prepares for his popular program AN ALL NU U. Buzz (speaking over a backstage din): Anyone got a light? The crew scurries around. And assistant dabs makeup on Buzz's face. Producer Jake Turnbull clasps Buzz on the shoulder Jake: Let's kill 'em,…
Bella Donnas
In rock 'n' roll, growing up is never a good idea. Very few artists make the transition from roughneck upstart to dignified veteran gracefully, or without leaving behind a sizable percentage of their original fan base. It may not be the kiss of death, but it's always greeted with apprehension, and with good reason. If…
Website
Neuticleshttp://www.neuticles.com/index1.html If you're hesitant to neuter your pet and make it a eunuch, there is an alternative. Neuticles.com will tell you about the revolutionary procedure to put fake nuts (cough, sorry, "testicular implants") on your beloved canine, feline or equine (horse balls! Heh. Sounds like my grandfather swearing). This way your pet will continue to…
The Psychotic Hotline
Unedited Transcript of Psychotic Hotline Episode #3
… And Now a Word From Our Sponsors
And Now A Word From Our Sponsors … The Weekly Planet Network would have had a few short circuits if it weren't for the valuable help of the following: Laura Tierney and the crew over at the Education Channel for studio use; models Dom Cassano, Julie Garisto, Melissa Hashem, David Jasper, Eric Snider, Leigh Ann…
Best Places to Find Bad Men
People have lots of advice for single people about where to meet the "right" person. They'll offer such gems as asking your friends for introductions, meeting someone at the library or going to church. A friend once set me up with a man he said I had a lot in common with. He forgot to…
Never Have Another Bad Hair Day With I Can’t Believe You’re A Transvestite®
Testimonials: Paul Moll, 39, decorator: "I used to be afraid to wear v-necks and tank tops in public, but now I just stuff my bra and go. Thanks, I Can't Believe You're A Transvestite ®!" Tina, 21, stripper: "Other hair removal products cost way too much, and I've never used anything that worked as well…
Freebie
Dadaism is a nihilistic revolutionary movement of arts and literature that sought the discovery of authentic reality through the abolition of traditional culture and aesthetic forms. To offer an example of Dadaism, here's a line from the poem […….], by Romanian-born poet and essayist Tristan Tzara, howl howl howl howl howl howl howl howl. Good,…
Other Worldly
Judging by the news, our stormy blue orb is still in many ways uncivilized. On the subject of human differences, for instance: There continue to be people who not only hate what's different, but feel that they have the right to degrade, assault, torture and even kill those who don't fit their personal mold. American…
Dining Guide
HILLSBOROUGH Brandon La Septima Cafe, 140 N. Parsons Ave., Brandon (813-684-1948). You'll find a taste of the original Latin flavors of old Ybor in this quaint little Brandon cafe. Look for large portions and excellent Cuban sandwiches, succulent roast pork and saffron-kissed chicken and rice. $ Tampa Carrollwood/ Northwest Tampa Kaisen Sushi, 12785 N. Dale…
Arts and Entertainment
FILM BEST FIGHTER OF THE GOOD FIGHT, LOCAL FILM SCENE Annie Miller As bizarre feuds go, the long-running battle between the Bay area's two Jewish Film Festivals was one of the wackiest (and messiest), but it appears that it's now all over but the shouting. On the heels of a series of protracted problems with…
Outtakes
Amazing Journeys (PG) IMAX films are about scale, size — from the unfathomably huge (the oceans, the cosmos themselves) to the microscopically small — and this latest IMAX production gives us a little bit to look at from both ends of the spectrum. Amazing Journeys examines the migration habits of various creatures. American Outlaws (PG-13)…
Books
Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain By Charles R. Cross Hyperion/$24.95 It will always be something of a mystery why a rich rock star with an endless supply of heroin would opt for the sudden death of a self-inflicted shotgun blast over the slower demise of junkiedom. Charles R. Cross, however, does an…
Review: Happy Accidents
As if the reality of the World Trade Center towers crumbling to bits wasn't surreal enough, imagine this scenario: The first tower has just fallen. You're watching it happen live, slack-jawed and just as confused and horrified as every other person in America. As you watch the tower collapse and dark smoke swallows up the…
Readers’ Poll
*=critics pick FOOD & DRINK 1. BEST CUBAN SANDWICHDeli News Cafe 680 Main St. Dunedin 727-735-0505 Some hold that the Cuban sandwich developed in Cuba and immigrated to Tampa in the lunch boxes of cigar workers who came here looking for work in the 1800s. Others hold that the sandwich really developed in Tampa and…
Life in the ‘Hood
The winning entries from our readers who wrote in about their neighborhoods.
Food & Drink
BEST RESTAURANTSideBern's 2208 W. Morrison Ave. Tampa 813-258-2233 There's a scene in the movie Men in Black where Will Smith makes a snappy salute and sings out, "Best of the best of the best, Sir!" We'd make that same salute to SideBern's. It may have started out as the little sister of famed steakhouse Bern's,…
Goods & Services
BEST AFFORDABLE MEN'S FASHION Syms 3251 W. Hillsborough Ave. Tampa 813-876-6655 It may have the cold, institutional exterior of a discount store, but inside, Syms has several acres of great duds at mostly great prices. It can be forbidding, these aisles and aisles and piles and piles, but the store is fairly well laid out.…
De-Chick Your Life!®
Are you a chick? We don't mean, are you female? We mean are you one of those gals who exercise religiously at the gym, who can't leave the house without makeup or go to a restroom alone? Do you have mortal dread every time you chip a nail and can't get to the manicurist before…
Best of the Bay 2001 — The Infomercial Issue
*WPN offers you products you never knew you needed at unbelievable prices in our own special infomercials. Look for them scattered throughout this new and improved issue of Best of the Bay. They offer the latest gadgets, gizmos and contraptions to make you the best you can be. What else is new and improved about…
How Could This Happen?
Instead of clamoring for revenge, Americans need to assess past mistakes to avoid repeating them.
Let the Fortune Sellers Sell You Your Future!
Hello there. Welcome to another day in the rest of your life! We have an exciting program for you today. You won't want to miss a minute. We have fantastic insights into how to live to a ripe, old age with no money worries. Ever wonder where you will get the cash for retirement? Today,…
Blot Out Crime With Feminine Protection®
Anyone who watches television knows how dangerous the world is today. Roving bands of drug-crazed ruffians could strike at any moment, shattering your peace of mind, stealing your possessions and leaving you broken, beaten, possibly even dead. What's a law-abiding citizen to do? Count on the police? Hah! Just criminals with a badge. One word:…
People & News
Peter B. Belmont Attorney St. Petersburg attorney Peter Belmont straddles two worlds. In neither is his chance of success much better than a manatee outliving another boating season. A preservationist, Belmont often represents fellow environmentalists who challenge government permits to pollute. "It's hard to win," he said. "On the other hand, it seems like, for…
Soundboard
<font Thursday, Sept. 20 Events Brass Mug Crowbar/Against All/Shiver/Flood Jannus Landing Medeski Martin & Wood Bars/Small Stages AJ's Ale House Diamond Gray Alley Cat's Cafe Diane Beach Place (Whitey's) Saturn 5 Big J.R.'s The Sevilles Cadillac Jack's Abstract Daiquiri Deck Retroactive Famous Cigars Jazz Lounge Theo Valentin Frenchy's Rockaway Green Flash Gasoline Alley Golden Vanity/Gary…
Calling All Angels with the Angel Lady
Greetings, my brothers and sisters. I am Doris Abromowitzski, perhaps better known to most of you as Sister Alexa The Angel Lady.In a few moments I am going to offer you the opportunity to change your life in amazing ways, but first, a bit about myself. Since the age of 5, when I was kicked…
Fun
BEST BEACH Fort de Soto Park At the south end of Pinellas Bayway St. Petersburg 727-826-2484 Oh, man, it's gotten crowded the last few years, hasn't it? Well, short of increasing admission, it'll be hard to refer the hordes packing the sand at Fort de Soto back to Clearwater and Treasure Island. Particularly so in…
The List
Visual Arts Openings Actress & Artist Jane Seymour, a.k.a. Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, is in Tampa Bay for a full itinerary of media spots and gallery appearances, Friday, Sept. 21-Sunday, Sept. 23, to promote her watercolor and oil paintings. Seymour's scheduled for a cocktail reception from 7 to 9 p.m. at the Renaissance Vinoy Resort.…
Planet Picks
Thursday 9.20 Old World Wonders Tampa Museum of Art hosts Art After Dark, always the third Thursday of the month, an evening of art, entertainment and refreshments. The event takes place from 5 to 8 p.m., with a tour of The Classical World, an installation of Greek and Roman antiquities, at 6:30 p.m. With more…
