These religious folks assert they must protect the “family” from special interests and only their definition of “family” qualifies for this protection. They broadcast that marriage equality will bring mayhem to the traditional institution of marriage between one man and one woman. And if same-sex couples are granted the civil right of marrying, then our nation’s morality is at stake and our children will suffer. According to them, the welfare of these children is at the center of this argument.
They are erroneous for three reasons: 1. Heterosexual marriage is not in need of protection. Heterosexuals are part of dominant culture, privileged with being represented in all areas of society, which includes being able to get married anywhere in the country at any time. 2. Heterosexual marriage is in danger due to divorce, violence, lack of equality between the sexes, and adultery—not because of queers. 3. Children are actually left unprotected because of this agenda, placing them nowhere near the center of their argument.
There are between 8 to 10 million children of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the United States today. If our most precious resources don’t have access to full equality because their parents are gay, what does that say about our nation? Our morality? Our Christian beliefs?
When gay parents are denied full access to rights, the entire family suffers. This is seen in a myriad of ways: decreased access to health care, decreased social security benefits, decreased tax benefits, increased money paid for insurances for home, health, and vehicle, increased bullying and violence in schools, churches, language, and on the streets, decreased security in the community and invisibility of one’s family in language, textbooks, literature, music and other forms of popular culture.
People in this country believe in taking care of those who are most vulnerable. This is evident in our Medicare system, in the Social Security Administration, and unemployment benefits. Our values are also expressed when we reach out to neighbors, no matter what religion they may be, or if they are Democrat or Republican, or even if they have a different sexuality. We are good people, moral and just.
I say we redefine “family” in a way that reflects our belief system. Our values require us to feed the hungry, help the poor, take in strays, volunteer at hospice, donate books to the public library, pick up trash in the streets, read to at-risk youth, build homes for the homeless, and speak up for those most vulnerable. And those who need our help now are the LGBT community and their children.
We are talking about new beginnings. It’s time to reclaim that which is rightfully ours. Not to let something as precious as family be used as a political tool to drive wedges between members of the community. I ask you to pledge to yourself, to those you love, and your neighbors the following:
• I will speak up any time a person devalues another.
• I will work in some way, no matter how small, to help those around me.
• I will fight against prejudice in all its forms.
• I will act even though I might be fearful.
Is this too tall an order? I think not. It is in finding your truth and voice that you find freedom. Because in the words of Audre Lorde: “We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language and definition, and while we wait in silence for that final luxury of fearlessness, the weight of that silence will choke us.”
We cannot wait. We must transform our silence into language and action—because you will be afraid whether you are silent or not.
It is time for new beginnings. A time for creating a more just society. Time for making those lives around us better. A time to rejoice.
