Cropped close up of a Vintage Four of Pentacles Tarot Card — Credit: Roman Sibiryakov/Shutterstock

Dear Oracle, I’m at a loss. My middle-school-aged son has begun acting out this past year, which is expected given his age. But a stupid “prank” at a sleepover led to his arrest and a night in jail, which was incredibly traumatic for him. I’m so angry at so many things. I’m angry at myself, at his behavior, and at the consequences that did nothing. He didn’t learn anything; he just feels like a terrible thing happened to him. I don’t know what to do as I want to support my son, but also make him understand that these actions can’t happen again.—Motherload of Stress

Cards: Two of Pentacles, Eight of Wands, Eight of Cups, Four of Pentacles (reversed)

Dear MOS, I’m so sorry for what you and your son are going through. I do not have a very warm view of the prison system or what they can “correct,” and I’m so sorry that your son had to experience that. Adults find prison to be a traumatic experience. I cannot imagine how it must feel as a child.

It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling torn. The Two of Pentacles is a card of balance, and trying to juggle supporting your son while agreeing that there needed to be some consequences is a fine needle to thread. Take it slow. You might want to find some way to channel your anger elsewhere (kickboxing, maybe?) so that it clears your head a bit, because plenty of things will continue to throw you off balance.

The Eight of Wands shows that this is an overwhelming experience for both of you, with the blows keep coming, and it can feel exhausting. But while it feels never-ending, it will end—and it will give you some clarity or some goal to work towards. Maybe this will be your son’s probation or court-mandated sentence, but there will eventually be some goal to finish. Hang in there.

As you move forward, there will have to be some big changes. The Eight of Cups has two meanings here. The first is a reevaluation of the path the family is on: what’s working, what’s not, and how everyone can get the support they need. It’s often a card of starting over and trying something radically new. It’s also a card of withdrawing, which your son might be doing, which can make any changes even more difficult. He can feel even more isolated, no matter how hard you try to connect.

With the Four of Pentacles, I suggest therapy for all: individual for you and your son, and then family therapy as things progress. The card is about confronting fears and sharing, so by doing that individually, your son might be more open to connecting, and you might gain new insight into how to move forward. It can happen. It just takes time.

Again, I’m so sorry that both of you are going through this. While difficult times lie ahead, there is hope that things can change for the better. It’s a slow process, so take it one day at a time.

I hope you and your son take care.

Dear Oracle, I love my hometown and have found great friends and a small community here, but I’m thinking of moving abroad. I want to see what’s out there and if there’s a place where I feel a deeper sense of community. I’m in my 20s, so it feels like the time is now, but I’m scared. What if I hate everywhere else? What if this is as good as it gets?—Taurus Wanting To Roam

Cards: Death, King of Pentacles (reversed), Five of Wands (reversed), The Hermit

Dear Taurus, You might want to check out Harry Crews’s memoir, “A Childhood: The Biography of A Place.”

In it, Crews writes about the difference between being in a place and being of a place. The land of our childhood—especially if it’s also the place of family—is a singular thing. It’s the context in which we became ourselves, as influential as any gene. It is the land of who we were, and no other place will be quite the same, for better or worse. Your hometown made you. That much is true.

But, as the Death card reminds us, everything must die someday. If you want a new life, the old one has to end. Leaving everything you know can feel like death, with a complete unknown on the other side. But the unknown is full of potential. A fresh start can be thrilling.

The King of Pentacles and the Five of Wands show the duality of striking out on your own. On the one hand, it is you following your own path and making your own decisions. As the King of Pentacles, there is no one else you’re answering to. You are the one calling the shots, and in a completely new place, you might be the only person you can rely on.

On the other hand, starting life over in not only a new place but also a new country and culture is an exercise in discomfort. There is no ease of familiarity. You have to actively build bridges and community, adapt to a new culture, or learn how to live with the differences. It can be difficult and requires a lot of grace for yourself and others. (When you’re at the mercy of strangers in a Stangeland, you cannot afford to be petty.)

But great things can come out of discomfort. As The Hermit, I think you’re meant to explore and see what’s out there. You might find a place that feels like love, that’s more “you” than anywhere you’ve ever been. You might travel the world and return to your hometown with a deeper appreciation and sense of belonging than you had before. What I do know if that you have to try something to know for sure if it’s a fit. So, go a ‘roaming, my dear Taurus. See what other pastures this world has to offer.

Send your questions to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram. See more of Caroline and learn about her services via carolinedebruhl.com.

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