Scott is somewhere in the Southern south eating royal reds and drinking at beachside dives, so the rest of the CL newsroom is pitching in to write his shitty daily news column.
This Monday is particularly spicy, though, because the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are headed to the Super Bowl. We kid, we kid, but they did beat the Atlanta Falcons in yesterday's season opener, meaning their very young season is still perfect. What's more, second-year quarterback Jameis Winston overcame a first quarter interception and ended up throwing four touchdowns in the win. Watch some highlights at nfl.com.
In other sporting news, Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton visited an animal sanctuary, snuck up on a fucking full-grown tiger, startled it and survived. You have to see it to believe it.
If you like stories that make you say "WTF," then this weekend's election coverage was plenty good for you. In case you haven't heard, Hillary had to leave a 9/11 memorial because she was feeling ill. Today we know that the Democratic nominee for president has walking pneumonia. The armchair physicians with nothing to do are blowing up your Facebook feed as you read, this, but The Verge has a pretty decent, fair and balanced explanation of what the hell the diagnosis actually means.
Speaking of diagnoses, The Don is still doing dumb shit. A Washington Post investigation of the Trump Foundation found that Melania and Donald used some of the organization's money (reportedly $20,000) to bid on a 6-foot painting of Donald Trump at a charity benefit. Is this self-dealing? Do his supporters really care, anyway? Death + Taxes also shared old video that finds our Republican presidential candidate speaking to news media on September 11, 2001 and (unknowingly??) humble bragging that his own building — 40 Wall Street — was now the tallest building in downtown Manhattan. Here's the quote:
40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually, before the World Trade Center, was the tallest—and then, when they built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second-tallest. And now it’s the tallest.
Stay up on shit by following @cl_tampabay on Twitter and liking Creative Loafing Tampa Bay on Facebook.
This article appears in Sep 8-15, 2016.